The Beer Rating System

I know I did a quick post at the beginning of the blog about tasting beer.  I wanted to provide everyone with the official beer rating system.  The following link in the process developed by the Beer Judge Certification Program (BJCP).  For those that have never heard of them and thought that anybody can just walk off the street and taste beer you are wrong!  BJCP Tasting Beer Instructions.

I would like to issue a formal apology to all of my faithful beer drinking readers.  Somewhere along the way i made gross error in my scoring.  I'm not sure where i went wrong exactly but, i have been using an incorrect scorecard when tasting beer.  I don't know if it was an outdated version or an unofficial version that i had stumbled upon but it was incorrect.  The new scorecard will reflect the same categories but with different values.  Here is a link to the official scorecard.


                                   Old Value----->New Value
Aroma                             10                        12
Appearance                       5                          3
Taste (now Flavor)          10                        20
Palate (now Mouthfeel)     5                          5
Overall                            20                        10

TOTAL                           50                        50

From now on i intend on not only providing the quick glance scores for each beer rating at the bottom of east post but also linking to the scorecard done for each beer.  We'll see if i can  make it work.  For those that are interested in the specifics of beer styles and origins i suggest thumbing through the BJCP.

Word document with changes.  Turn on track changes to see updates.

BJCP Guidelines

Good luck and drink on!

The Rating System

I was informed by a friend that i had not yet defined my rating system clearly.  Those just wandering my "Lookup by Movie" page might not understand exactly what makes each movie the different rating.  So i decided to clarify a bit.


All categories for movie rating are awarded on a 5 point scale.  0 being the lowest and 5 being the highest score achievable.  The following are the different categories.

Production – Production of zombie films are incredibly important to me.  Sometimes the quality of the gore in the film can effect the production rating.  That being said the production of the gore could be poorly produced but because of the originality and massive amount of blood and guts the movie could still score a 5 on gore.  Production takes into account the film quality, quality of CGI, believability of the characters, sets and props, and the overall feel of the film.

Plot – There are literally hundreds of zombie movies.  After a while they all seem to blur together.  It seems  to be a bunch of people trying to hold up during a zombie attack or a post apocalyptic world where zombies rule.  I need originality, creativity, and some plot twists in order to keep things moving.  If you want to draw a 5 here you need to have an original story line, unique character interactions, and a highly entertaining story that has at least the illusion of a plot twist.  If the zombie movie is written like the Andy Dick writes George Bush speeches SNL skit then you get an exploding head.

Gore – This one is straight forward.  Odds are if your a zombie movie fan then your looking for at least a moderate amount if not a viciously disturbing bucket full of flesh tearing violence.  If you cut away to try to cheese out counting on human interactions to intensify your movie then EXPLODING HEAD!!!  Look at Dead Alive as the mecca of gore to which all others will be judged.

Zombies – I am very particular about my zombies.  Points will be deducted for zombies that do any of the following: talk, think, climb, use tools, communicate with other zombies, have special powers, are super strong, don't eat people (I'm talking to you Dead Snow), or have any other unrealistic qualities.  I'm willing to accept running zombies under the premise that the muscle has not yet broken down to the point where they can't run.

  Overall – This is just the mathematical average of the above ratings and not it's own category like in the official BJCP guidelines for beer rating.  I choose how to round this number based on how i feel.  I round to the nearest .5 hands.

The 5 dead hand rating - This rating is given only to the highest quality, most interesting, and standard setting movies of the Genre.  Such films include Dawn of the Dead (remake and original), 28 Days Later, The Horde, and a few others i have not yet reviewed.  It's got to be front to back, top to bottom the best to get this rating.  If your a zombie movie fan and you don't own one of my 5 hand films then your not a zombie movie fan.

The 4 dead hand rating is a solid film.  This is a film you probably should own and can watch over and over without getting tired of it.  There could be a few minor flaws here and there that would not allow it to the highest status but it's enjoyable.  These are good drinking beer and hanging out flicks.  Good examples of 4 hand films are Dead and Breakfast, Dead Snow, Diary of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead (original and remake), Undead, and Pontypool.

3 hand movies are okay.  They're not the worst movies I've seen but usually have major flaws.  If strapped for cash bypass 3 hand movies for something higher up the list.  If your torn between watching the new Transformers movie and a 3 hand film.  It might be a tough choice.  My only 3 star rating so far was Horror Rises from the Tomb.

 Here are my friends at the bottom of the barrel.  Your sinking into some pretty sad territory.  Someone but their hopes and dreams into creating a film but its' embarresingly terrible.  It's the type of bad that warrents a netflix stream for free but i wouldn't waste the gas money to pick one of these up at Blockbuster.  That is, if Bluckbuster would even carry one of these.  I haven't yet rated a movie that lands between 2.5 and 0 hands so no examples here.

These are a right.  I suggest you start thinking about it a few days before.  You want to get in the right mind set.  You start drinking 3 or 4 hours before movie time.  Make sure you have eaten and arn't overly irritable.  And do NOT stop drinking at any point during these films.  You go into one of these unprepaired and you risk seriously hurting yourself.  I haven't reviewd a 1 hand film yet because I don't want to sit through these again.  This is going to be the movies i put off to the end.

These are the worst of the worst.  These are the movies that after watching, I make lists.  I make lists of the directors, producers, actors, even the lighting guys.  So i know who to go after for my wasted time and pain endured during the film.  I don't only want bad things to happen to the people that were involved in the making of these films.  I want bad things to happen to the friends and family of those involved.  These films make me wonder at what point people should just give up.  You must be seeing the terrible shit that you are creating and you must know your name will follow this shit sandwhich until the end of time but you just don't care.  You decide that your legacy should be that of these exploding head most terrible zombie movies ever!  I, Zombie and Living a Zombie Dream.......I hate you.


Watch at your own risk.

Pontypool and New Belgium Trippel

Slow and steady I've begun chipping away at more zombie movies.  This is my favorite zombie that doesn't really have any zombies in it.  It's held together by the compelling performance of Stephen McHattie who plays Grant Mazzy a big time radio host who after being fired finds himself working in small town Canada.  Fueled by early morning booze and coffee this edgy character is a believable radio personality.  He tries to spice up the news-less town with his wild rants.  But he gets a real story.  The beer i paired with this movie has no symbolic connection to it.  It was picked because it's getting into the mid 80's here in Seattle and that is something I am just not used to.  But I don't drink pilsners and a wheat doesn't pack the punch I was looking for so I was forced to look elsewhere.  There at my local grocer, slapped in the middle of what I have begun to call the "token micros" (Stone, Sierra Nevada, Pyramid, Widmer, Red Hook, Deschutes...etc), sat New Belgium's Trippel for only $6.50.  Done and done!  Aside from fat tire i had never tired any New Belgium beers so i was pretty excited.  Well here goes.

First a little brewery background.  In 2010 New Belgium was the 3rd largest craft brewery and 7th largest brewery in the country.  That's pretty good.  Outside magazine named New Belgium Brewery the #1 best place to work in the country.  They use efficient kettles and pay extra to ensure they are buying the cleanest energy possible.  They employ several woman brewers and are committed to the health of their workers.  They have a vast array of beers of all styles and flavors.  They have a Rye ale with juniper and a couple of Bret beers (Brettanomyces for those that don't know).

Now for the tasting.  It is a bright golden color with a foamy white two finger head.  With a gentle swirl and a sniff the Belgian character smashes through the glass and into your nose.  Some spice and noble hops push down most of the alcohol smell.  The first sip is crisp and smooth sweet malts.  It's complex and fruity with a touch of coriander spice in the finish. It's 7.8% abv is noticeable but not overpowering and the 25 IBUs puts just enough bitterness in the finish to balance this beast.  This one is smooth enough and light enough for the frightened novice beer drinker and complex and interesting enough for the thrill seeking sud master.

The beer kicks in as the movie heats up.  As Grant starts spilling the incoming story about a riot at a doctors office all hell breaks loose.  You don't see it, you hear it.  It's terrifying.  The traffic reporter is a guy in a car parked on a hill pretending to be in a helicopter.  As he reports the riot he starts screaming about an explosion and people being trampled.  You hear the reports of people being dragged from their cars and being eaten alive.  The terror that comes through in his account is blood chilling.  There isn't any on scene killings but what you get is much worse.  The series where Grant reports the deaths of all the people in the town.  The cinematography is original and compelling. 

It's hard to go through this film as the premise is pretty complicated.  It has something to do with a virus in language.  I repeat "It's a virus in language".  Caused by the words in the English language.  I don't fully understand how the virus works but it's scary as shit.  Grant begins to realize that his radio program and his talking could be infecting the entire town.  The radio station becomes under siege as the undead break though the windows.  I won't give away the end, you have to watch the rest for that.

Although this film has minimal gore, it is original and scary like few other films in my collection are.  The American parallel (remake, version, whatever) is called Dead Air starring Bill Mosley.  It pales in comparison.  If your a zombie purist who has put off watching this movie please give it a chance.  This movie will shake you!  If you've already seen it then tell a friend.  This movie is a hidden gem and a worth while watch!

The Beer:

Aroma – 7/10

Appearance – 4/5

Taste – 7/10

Palate – 4/5 

   Overall – 18/20

Total = 40/50

The Movie:

Production – 5/5

Plot – 5/5

Gore – 3/5

Zombies – 2/5

  Overall – 4/5

DIEner and Scuttlebutt Tripel 7 Belgian Ale

I found myself scrolling through the watch it now horror section in Netflix when i found this movie.  I checked the trailer and it looked promising so i decided to give it a go.  They use a professional camera so how bad can it be right?  It actually isn't that bad.  The idea is that a sociopath and a young couple get stuck in a diner during a zombie apocalypse.  That's pretty much the whole movie.....no joke.

The opening scene is a waitress telling all to some guy at the diner.  It's late and the place is empty.  He suddenly jumps up and kills both the waitress and the cook, and puts them in the fridge.  As he's getting ready to leave a young couple and a cop come in.  He's forced to try and run the diner and not look suspicious.  While he's waiting tables the people he killed comes back to life.  That's pretty much the entire movie in less than a paragraph.  But what makes this movie interesting isn't the plot twists (none), gory shootouts (none), cinematography (boring), or special effects (latex, black eye makeup, and ketchup).  What makes this movie special is the antics of the sociopath.  He's really funny.  He's a Ed Norton look alike who's adopted his acting style.  His quick and quirky remarks keep the movie light and add humor.  There is this one great bit of banter (that you can watch in the trailer) where our bad guy asks the girl to throw him a roll of tape from his duffle bag.  She says "There's nothing but rope and tape in this bag."  to which he replies something like "It's my rope and tape bag, what else am i supposed to put in there!!"

The beer is one of those 6-packs that you pick up because you want an interesting high octane beer that's only 8 bucks.  You really roll the quality dice with a move like this.  The beer is brewed in Everett, WA, only a half hour from where I live.  Since I'm all about local I pull the trigger.  It's 9% abv and 11 IBUs.  It pours a radiant light copper with a small white head which dissipates in seconds.  It's much less than expected of a Belgian tripel.  Not a huge nose on this one.  It's a mellow honey with wafts of soft graininess.  There's also some signature Belgian funk with just a touch of wet dog.  Now that I've said that you try not to smell wet dog when you drink this sucker.  It's all over it.  The flavor is incredibly okay...just okay.  It's not as complex as it should be, it finishes a little sweet and I think it's very under carbonated.  There's a little spice and some honey flavor the alcohol is well hidden.  There's little hops decorating the bottom of the label...maybe they should have used those in the beer.  Very little hop flavor and bitterness.  Yea i said it.  I'm like the Simon Cowell of beer reviews.  Trash....terrible....na it's just okay.

If you've got an hour and a half free and want something fun but bad at the same time rent this one.  This would be a good "have a couple drinks" movie.  I would like to see the lead actor do another movie with a bigger budget, better special effects, and a real supporting cast.  I don't want to sound like i'm bashing the movie because it's not bad.  It's got a lot of heart and i dont' hate it as much as i do some other well known zombie films (the Return of the Living Dead series).

The Beer:

Aroma – 4/10

Appearance – 4/5

Taste – 6/10

Palate – 2/5 

   Overall – 10/20

Total = 26/50

The Movie:

Production – 3/5

Plot – 3/5

Gore – 1/5

Zombies – 2/5

  Overall – 2.5/5

Tokyo Zombie and Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA

Hello again old friends. I'm officially in Seattle!  After a quick trip to Ikea for a new entertainment center and couch it was time to start again on my quest through my zombie movie library.  With two new editions to my collection i was beside myself in excitement.  My choice was the Japanese made Tokyo Zombie.  I've never seen the film but I've seen the DVD in Best Buy so it must be good....right?  As for the beer i think i need to explain a bit.  I'm still getting used to the fact that grocery stores in Washington also carry beer.  And not just your big brands either.  The PCC where i do my shopping has an impressive collection of craft beers to choose from.  I was able to pick up 2 six packs of New Belgium's beer (Ranger IPA and Belgian Tripel) for $6 each!!  Top that with some kind of Belgian/Scotch ale hybrid and a couple of 90 minute IPA's and i'm set for movie night!

The premise is pretty funny.  People throw all their junk (including dead bodies) in a landfill that eventually gets so large that it's the largest point in Tokyo, thus dubbed "Black Fuji".  Mix all those dead bodies with improperly disposed of industrial waste and BANGO! Zombies.  This is incredibly inconvenient for our two main characters.  A couple of friends with a large age difference, and a shared passion for jujitsu.  I'm not an expert on Japanese culture but here in the US of A the type of jujitsu they were practicing would be called foreplay.  Yes there is some homo erotic kind of thing going on with these two.  It's a very silly film.  It's with the flavor of Return of the Living Dead.  But, I enjoyed the first part of the movie.  Don't take it serious and it won't be too bad.  There is that strange Japanese wackiness.  For example a guy is burying his mother alive in Black Fuji as his girlfriend stands there taunting him.  Eventually the mother pisses her off and she kicks her head clean off.  Like i said.  Silly movie.  The best part of the movie is the lack of emotion shown by all actors.  It's intentional i'm sure.  The two main characters kill their boss and it's not a big deal.  Then zombies rise from the dead and it's not that big of a deal.  It's all old news for the Japanese i guess.

The beer is a favorite of mine.  I've bought a lot of $10 four packs of this beer over the years.  That was before it became a $12 four pack and then became unavailable in Alaska.  Ratebeer.com gives this beer a score of 100 overall with a 99 in the IIPA style category!!!!  That means it's awesome.  Let me explain how this beer is different for those of you that don't already know.  Normally an IPA is hopped 3 to 4 times in the brewing process.  Once for bittering, flavor, aroma, and sometimes dry hopping at the end for added aroma.  The Dogfish Head Owner/Head Brewer Sam Calagione continuously hopped his IPAs.  He started by using one of the old buzzing hockey games to drop tiny amounts of hops into the beer continuously throughout the entire boil.  This gives the beer a smooth bitterness unmatched in any other IPA ever made... anywhere......ever!  The beer is then fermented and before it goes into the bottle it's hit with yet more hops.  It's clocking in at 90 IBUs so it's bitter.  But it's smooth so you won't get that pucker like you would with something like Smuttynose's IPA.  I put this beer in my tall tulip like water glass (i still haven't unpacked my real beer glasses).  It pours a rich, crystal clear, caramel color.  It's a beautiful beer.  I usually think it's crappy that appearance counts at all in a beer rating.  I think flavor and aroma should be the only categories that matter.  But then again this beer is just gorgeous.  I have a one finger off white head that lets off an evident but not overwhelming sweet sticky hoppiness.  Citrus like all good American IPAs with just a hint of resiny pine.  There is a also caramel and toast in the nose.  The first sip is inspiring.  This is why we call it "Craft" beer.  This beer is where the science ends and the art begins.  Unique and original brewing techniques give this beer it's special signature.  The balance is perfect.  At 9% abv the rich malt pounds your tongue with caramel and toasted flavor while the hops bitter and balance it with citrus and a tang of lemons and a touch of mango.  It finishes creamy and smooth.  Die hard hop heads and those with weaker stomachs will both appreciate this beer.  If you have lived under a craft beer rock then go get this beer.

The movie progresses at break neck pace......sorta.  The zombies are all over Tokyo but our main characters have a ridicules dichotomy.  The one is the jujitsu master with good judgement and drive...the other is the bafoon.  The same character we've seen in American movies over and over.  He's the Ed of Japan.  Instead of getting necessary supplies when they stop at the store he gets a bunch of bags of chips.  He says he forgot the car keys in the building and when the entire time they were in the ignition.  He drives the wrong was on the highway for hours.  It's all there.  You think the movie is going to go in a predictable manner when BOOM!  Things get wierd.  Things turn into Land of the Dead where the rich had made a zombie free fort where they enslave the poor as their work force.  The fort is powered by a bunch of slaves squeezing hand grips attached to wires.  It's pretty funny.  But the rich need something to release their stress.  That's where things get even weirder.  There is a fight pit where slaves battle zombies to win money and possibly freedom.  But at first it's just people dressed as zombies.  Then they battle zombies who have retained their fighting ability.

I was raised by a generation of film and media that doesn't hit women.  We don't even slap anymore.  In a movie if a woman does something really evil then the man will just glare at her, or if it's really evil then another woman will take action.  Never the man though.  In the 70's and early 80's there was still some women slapping but always to calm down a hysterical woman.  I don't get why that ever worked.  But in the 70's slapping was the key to calmness.  Why is this relevant.  Because there is a scene in this movie where jujitsu master throws himself off a bridge because he has been bitten by a zombie.  The girl he got bit rescuing says something unsympathetic and the other guy sprints up to her and just clocks her.  Full fist!  I was shocked.  She gets revenge by calling him a "fucking retard" for the next five years.

Speaking of calling people a "fucking retard", the girl and the surviving karate guy (i'm not using names because it's all Japanese names and i can't remember them) live in the slave camp and have a five year old girl who doesn't talk.  The woman says it's because her husband is a, you guessed it, "fucking retard".  Well at the end of the movie as things are starting to resolve the little girl talks for the first time.  She asks her father....."Are you fucking retarded."  She says it over and over to various people she meets.  It's pretty awesome.

This movie jumps around and is just super silly.  It has the potential to be good be pretty good but if flops.  The biggest problem problem i have with this movie is one major mistake.  At one point the jujitsu master is bitten by a zombie but lucky for him the zombie had dentures so even though it broke the skin he wasn't infected.  WHAT!!! If the skin was broken (it was) then shouldn't the virus the zombies saliva have infected him.  Unless the virus is in the TEETH.  That' makes a lot of sense.  Sorry Japan.  Swing and a miss.


Until next time.

The Beer:

Aroma – 7/10

Appearance – 5/5

Taste – 10/10

Palate – 5/5 

   Overall – 18/20

Total = 45/50

The Movie:

Production – 3/5

Plot – 3/5

Gore – 2/5

Zombies – 2/5

  Overall – 2.5/5

Round 1 Match 2 AUSTRALIA/NEW ZEALAND (#5) VS FRANCE (#4)

Here is a match that 3 weeks ago would not have been a match.  You would have asked me "Hey Matt what do you think of French Zom...." right there i would have slapped you silly before you could finish.  "NO!" I would have ranted and raved as I threw old yogurt all over your stunned self.  But today, same question, and I would reply "hmmmm That's a good question friend."  What made the difference?  The Horde, that's what.

AUSTRALIA/NZ	FRANCE
Black Sheep	The Horde
Undead	The Horde
Dead Alive	The Horde
Last of the Living	The Horde

As you can see I've already reviewed a couple of these.  While it might look one sided to some to me this is a VERY hard decisioin.  Despite all the flaws France has as a country and a people they have crafted one of the best zombie movies I've ever seen.  If you couldn't tell i listed Australia and New Zealand as one just to make things even.  I thought they would get less upset than if i tried to make Japan and China one catagory.  It just made more sense this way.  Black Sheep will get a good review from me because it's just an awesome gory gem.  Undead was really good and Dead Alive was a "5 hand" Zombie Classic!  But have you seen "The Horde".  It's the Shindler's List of zombie movies.  It's epic.  With that said i have to give this match to France!