Horror Rises from the Tomb and Flying Dog IPA

There's good zombie movies, bad zombie movies, and then there's the "so bad they're good" zombie movies.  This one teeters on the edge of bad and so bad it's good.  Bad acting and terrible special effects can be funny, or it can be terribly boring.  I'm still not sure which one this is.  This movie was made in Spain in 1973 and then released in the US in 75.  I believe i read somewhere that one of the heroes and the villain are the same actor.  They do look pretty similar now that I'm thinking about it.  I don't know a lot about the 70's.  I was alive (although pretty young) for some of the 80's and I've read and seen a lot about the 60's, but the 70's was a decade that i just never learned about.  Ok so there was disco and coke, but there had to be more to it than that.  So i dug a little further.  Now you're talking!  The birth of punk rock and sleazy drive in style horror!!  I had no idea the 70's were so great.  But that's not all....these boozy, drugged out disco maniacs were having sex like the world was ending.  There wasn't a lot of full on sex scenes in these movies but everyone was naked.  Not just this movie either.  In Zombi you get a taste of it.  Who scuba dives naked?  I'll touch on this more later.

I picked up a mix pack of flying dog in an effort to make further amends.  It appears that i was wrong about flying dog.  But if it weren't for Hunter S. Thompson i would never have realized it.  I picked up his book on sale at some book store in Colorado.  I had heard of him and it seemed like something i would like so i picked it up.  I'm really interested in rebels.  I love punk rock  and all it's rebellious grittiness so i thought it's quite possible i would like Hunter S. Thompson.  In the book it referenced Flying Dog a couple of times so I thought maybe i should give them another go.  I'm glad i did.  I realize after doing the math that i tried my first and only flying dog mix pack 5 years ago when i was 22.  I had just started drinking beer and hadn't yet worked up to the refined palate that i now possess.  So i picked out my most despised beer of 5 years ago... their Snake Dog IPA.  It poured a clear dark gold into my Sam Adams glass.  It had that typical American nose of big citrus hops.  But the first sip surprised me.  It was bitter without being biting and had a nice toasted malt back.  It finished clean and smooth without that puckering bitterness that i look for.  It's absence in this case was appealing.  There was still a big citrus flavor with green resinous hops all over it.  But it didn't bite my tongue the way most of my IPAs do.  Well done Flying Dog....well done.

The movie starts out in medieval France where this bloke is getting hung for being all buddy buddy with Satan.  Not big fans of "freedom of religion" those Francs were.  Before they cut off his head and bury them separately he places a curse on his executioners.  His wife was hung upside down tortured and killed, topless none the less.  Fast forward five hundred years or so and you've got a rich guy that thinks the body is buried in one of his estates.  They have a seance to see if they can't figure out where the body is.  I'm not sure if they were looking for some type of treasure associated with said body or if they are just gore hounds.  The seance goes terribly wrong as is typical of at least one other 70's zombie movie.

They all travel to the rich guys house where they find a buried chest.  It's locked so even though it might be treasure and three other people know about it they decide they should just keep it in the basement.  Well I'll be damned the poor servants tried to open the chest.  They find the head and become possessed.  Two out of the three don't make it out of the basement.  The remaining guy (possessed) does some killing of his own.  Here's where it gets interesting.  Every woman who gets killed gets her shirt ripped off before hand.  In one case it looked like the killer realized there wasn't enough boob in the shot and adjusted her ripped shirt accordingly.  Another thing while I'm at it.  Judging by this movie everyone in Spain in the 70's slept naked, men and women.  Not only that but the first thing a naked sleeping woman does when confronted with a resurrected French devil worshiper is throw off the covers.  The director must have realized he didn't have much of a plot and the actors weren't great so he just stripped them down and got extra boobie shots.  I'm surprised it beat out One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest!

So our Hero is rocking a textured turtle neck tucked into his jeans.  Not exactly fitting by modern standards.  Not a lot of films with Vin Diesel and Jason Statham running around with textured turtle necks on.  The hero's girlfriend (wife maybe? no idea?) gets possessed and becomes part of the "Final Ritual".  It doesn't really explain what the ritual is but it does involve a lot of boobie touching???  Highlights of this movie include a scene where the undead wife rips a mans heart out.  That's about it.  There are a bunch of okay scenes and i learned a lot about the oversexed seventies but nothing stands out as amazing.

There are zombies in this movie.  At first i was worried it would just be possessions.  Those pre-Romero White Zombie type.  But in fact when the possessed people die they become honest to goodness zombies.  So technically it counts.  The only protection from these zombies and the unholy couple is a necklace of Thor's hammers.  Why the Greeks have anything to do with this I have no idea.  But it works.  The naked sleeping Spaniard keeps safe only because captain evil saw the necklace hovering above her bosom.  His wife isn't harmed by the necklace and needs a silver needle through the heart???  Whatever.  Our main characters end up slaying the evil duo but not before our hero hunk takes an ax to the chest.  And he almost made it!!

All in all this wasn't a bad movie.  Only because i assumed it was going to be a terrible movie.  It moved well enough, had decent gore, a unique plot, and the acting wasn't the worst I've ever seen.  Would i recommend it?  Mer?  If you have a lot of time and a couple of beers than give it a shot.  If you want to snuggle with the Mrs. and watch a feel good film, look elsewhere.

The Beer:

Aroma – 7/10

Appearance – 4/5

Taste – 8/10

Palate – 4/5 

   Overall – 14/20

Total = 37/50

The Movie:

Production – 3/5

Plot – 2/5

Gore – 3/5

Zombies – 3/5

  Overall – 3/5

Night of the Living Dead (1990 Remake) and Flying Dog Double Dog

Tonight i feel like filling in the gaps in my reviews a bit.  I will be watching the Night of the Living Dead remake.  This film came out in 1990 and was directed by Tom Savini.  For those who don't know Tom Savini I'll fill you in on a little of his resume.  His special effects work can be seen on the original Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Creepshow, and the wonderful Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2.  He also has done some extensive acting, mostly cameos, in tons of horror movies.  He's in Planet Terror, From Dusk Till Dawn, and if you look close Machete, Land of the Dead, and the Dawn of the Dead Remake.  What did i decide to pair this movie with?  Flying Dog Double Dog Pale Ale!  This is my post to redemption.  I received a slew of hate mail from the Flying Dog Brewery after i wrote my Diary of the Dead and Gonzo post.  I have received numerous death threats saying if i don't review more Flying Dog beer then i will be hastily dispatched.  Actually none of that's true. 

I wanted to confess that i've been feeling a bit of guilt after my Diary of the Dead/Flying Dog Gonzo post.  Perhaps I never gave Flying Dog a real chance.  I keep passing by the Double Dog Double Pale Ale and wrinkling my nose at it as I search for Avery's Dry Hopped Barleywine.  That's no way to treat a beer, with neglect, contempt, and an unfair stereotype.  So i decided to try and make amends by picking up a bottle with a mix your own six pack at our local specialty beer and wine shop La Bodega.  It sat waiting in the fridge as i pecked around in nervously.  First the Leffe, then the Celebration.  By this point it knows I'm avoiding it.  Finally i can hide no more.  I pop it open and pour it into my 12 oz snifter.  It's a crystal clear light copper/orange color with a one finger white head.  The initial aroma is not the blast in the face i expected.  Definitely a lot of piny, resiny hops but not nearly the American Double IPA experience i was expecting.  Not that this is a bad thing.  But it sure was a sign of things to come.

I swirl to see if i can't unlock more hop goodness.  More of the same!  Maybe a little more grapefruit from the background but by and large the same!  So i dive into my first sip, keeping my nose deep in the glass.  Not bad!  It's got a big bitter backbone but not that barbs on the tongue slap that most IIPAs have.  In fact this beer is extremely well balanced.  There is a nice sweet caramel malt back that splashes my taste buds with the nostalgia of tiramisus gone by.  This beer isn't boozy at all.  And at 11.5% abv that's saying a lot.  Careful fermentation and brewing processes have smoothed this bad boy out.  It's a very drinkable beer for it's strength.  With medium mouthfeel and medium carbonation it goes down very easy....too easy.  Would i but this again?  Maybe?  Was it worth the $1.50 for the bottle?  Hell yea it was.  Another page in my beer adventure book printed.

I forgot how good this movie was.  I know it’s in bad taste to say this, but I think I like the remake better than the original.  The quality was much better than I remembered from my parents 27 inch tv as a kid.  The movie followed closely enough to the original to please the lovers of the classic but also threw in enough new twists to surprise people.  The cemetery scene comes as close as any Romero Movie gets to explaining the outbreak.  A man stumbles up to Barbara and keeps saying he’s sorry.  So maybe he did it?  That’s not bad right?  I like how subtle it was and it still left the questions of legitimacy and didn’t give away any specifics.  Unlike the 3-D remake which I would like to poop on.

The first scene at the farm house has got some nice new additions.  Barbara is still terrified and hysterical for the first part.  But unlike the original movie she snaps out of it.  All of the sudden she’s bashing Hershel the farmer zombie to undeath with a fire poker.  Director Tom Savini would like you to meet the new and improved Barbara now with balls.  She ditches the church sweater and trades her ankle length skirt for a pair of the farmers old trousers.  Now she’s ready to rock.  She’s not just the master of her own destiny she’s also taking charge.  She grabs the rifle and is Anne Oakley.  She nails headshot after headshot without blinking.

The Ben character has also seen a few changes.  He’s not as cool and deliberate as he was in the original.  He’s more affected by the zombies this time showing frustration, fear, and hate as he curses god for bringing this upon them.  Ben has more flaws than the original but at the same time he’s also more powerful of a leader and an overall stronger character.  But there is no Ben without Cooper.

I’ve tried to find his side.  I’ve watched this movie and searched my heart for some sort of impartiality.  But I can’t rid myself of the bias.  You’re already on Ben’s side after he helped Barbara and took charge trying to figure things out.  It’s hard to change sides at that point.  Cooper enters abruptly as Ben and Barbara are trying to board up the windows.  First impressions aren’t great as he lies right off the bat saying that they couldn’t tell if it was zombies or people upstairs.  But good old Tommy fesses up that they were just scared.  It’s official, Cooper is an asshole.  From there things get worse Cooper won’t help secure the upstairs and claims the basement as his.  When Ben needs to get into the Basement to get doors (that Cooper isn’t using anyway mind you) Cooper won’t let him in.  The sides are drawn as distinctly as they are in the American political system.  The thing that frustrates me most about Cooper isn’t his obtuse nature, or the way he refuses to contribute to the efforts of the group.  It’s his language.  Who calls people lame brains?  That’s just poor.

The zombies are well done in this film.  The zombie with the broken back on the lawn and the autopsy zombie are two great ones.  The gore is graphic but not over the top.  My best example being the girl with the teddy bear that Barbara shoots in the head.  When the girl gets shot, instead of her head exploding it just sort of pours out the back.  Much classier.

The Beer:

Aroma – 7/10

Appearance – 4/5

Taste – 7/10

Palate – 4/5

   Overall – 16/20

Total = 38/50

The Movie:

Production – 4/5

Plot – 5/5

Gore – 4/5

Zombies – 4/5

  Overall – 4/5

Diary of the Dead and Flying Dog Gonzo Imperial Porter

Tonight is going to be a double movie night as I need to stay up as late as I can to adjust to going on a night watch starting tomorrow.  The first movie of my marathon is going to be Diary of the Dead.  I know that the zombie aficionados out there might scoff at the way I skip right to one of the worst of the Romero movies.  For the unschooled zombie viewers "Romero" is George A. Romero the director the original, groundbreaking film Night of the Living Dead.  He then went on to create the iconic Dawn of the Dead and the lesser Day of the Dead.  More recently with the revival of the genre in 2005 he directed Land of the Dead (swing and a miss) and then Diary of the Dead.  Last year he released Survival of the Dead…not even worth mentioning.  Despite what many would consider a slew of terrible movies George still holds his head high as the father of the Zombie movie.  He is the inspiration for every zombie movie in the last 50 years so give him some credit.  Diary of the Dead came in the wake of the Blare Witch 1^st person craze.  The story follows a group of film students around as the zombie apocalypse begins.

I chose Flying Dog’s Gonzo Imperial Porter as the beer to pair with this movie.  It’s a powerhouse of a beer that is always in my fridge.  Strangely enough it’s the only really stand out beer that I’ve tried by Flying Dog.  Don’t get me wrong I give them a lot of credit for producing the wide range of styles that they do.  I just don’t think any of them are as knock me down awesome as Gonzo.  It’s worth buying a sampler to say you tried them but none will be the life changing beer that Gonzo is.  I’m serious!  This 9.2% abv with 82 IBU monster changed the way I drink beer.  I never really drank dark beer until I took my first sip of Gonzo.  It's the Fight Club of beers.

The first scene of Diary of the Dead was brilliant.  It was the raw footage of a news clip where some of the first dead people turn into zombies.  It's the perfect grey setting with very real zombies sprinkled with just a dash of racism.  An man kills his wife and teenage son before eventually killing himself.  As the reporter is telling the story the camera man notices one of the bodies starts moving.  The next thing you know paramedics are doing karate, lots of gunfire, and one face getting ripped off..  Well done George.  Now when I heard this was going to be a first person style movie my stomach turned.  Not another headache causing shaky screen mess!  Another movie where instead of an adequate budget and trained actors they will just shake the camara and run arround in the dark.  YES!!!!!  Luckily it was not.  Because the people shooting the film were film students they had professional cameras.  A breath of fresh air.  This movie was the first zombie film to be shot in this way and for that I tip my hat.  Now I only wish that the acting didn’t seem like it was done by disseased monkeys.  There were a lot of scenes that seemed forced an overacted.  I'm sorry the scene where the girl from Texas is chased through the woods is terrible.  The guy keeps filming instead of helping even though he's the only one there.  Then he yells "CUT!" to distract the zombie (cheap cheap cheap).  When the girl  clubs the zombie and knocks it out she turns to the camera fixes her hair and says "Don't mess with Texas."  Really?  Did we forget we're filming a real movie.  A movie that is going to be shown in movie theaters.  This scene made me so angry I thought about cashing in my Roth so i could buy a plane ticket, fly to California, meet this acress, and thrown salt in her eyes.   But alas i'm lazy.

WARNING SHE IS NOT A REAL ACTRESS.  SHE WILL RUIN THE MOVIE.

My favorite scene in this movie is when the students run into the zombie fighting mute Amish guy.  This bad ass carries around a little chalk board to communicate and throws cartoon style dynamite at the zombies.  How can you have a zombie movie in the country part of Pennsylvania without the Amish?  Personally I think that would be an idea for an entire movie.  Then again the Amish aren’t known for their knowledge of weapons or ability to defend themselves.

I poured the beer into my 12 oz snifter glass.  It’s shaped perfectly for angling the aroma to your nose.  And what an aroma it has.  If you ever find yourself sitting around wondering what Cascade hops smell like go ahead and open a bottle of Gonzo.  The aroma is incredibly hoppy.  More than most IPA’s I’ve had.  I'm suprised this beer isn't green.  But don’t think this is going to be a super bitter hop bomb.  It’s got malt packed on top of malt.  Thick beautiful black malt.  Clean bready malt.  You can almost chew this beer it’s so malty (the word malt was just used 4 times in 4 sentences to stress the maltieness) .  This beer is light on the bittering hops but high in flavor and aroma giving it a very unique taste.  As the beer warms in the glass it becomes more and more complex.  Each sip releases notes of chocolate and coffee with heavy roasted flavors.  When tasting the beer it’s important to swirl every few sips in order to oxygenate the beer and release those hop aromas.  The beer is perfectly balanced yet forceful and unique.  This beer is to Budweiser what Nirvana was to 80’s hair metal.

If the art on the bottle seems familiar to you....it should.  It's an illustration by Ralph Steadman!  He's the one that made Hunter S. Thompson's novels into wild and often offensive pictures.  The two were a pair that covered many stories together.  The owned of Flying Dog Brewery used to be a neighbor and was a good friend of Hunter S. Thompson.  This beer is a tribute to Hunter and in many ways is a piece of him.  It's wild, bold, and unique.  If i were to die and have a beer brewed in my tribute it would be this one.  Damn you Hunter.

This movie isn’t terrifying, it’s not overly gory, and it’s not insightful or groundbreaking.  It just IS?  It’s entertaining enough.  There's supposed to be this threat of social satire that focuses on the human rubberneckers.  It’s interesting.  People filming the horror instead of acting or living.  People now go to concerts and watch the entire thing through their cell phone screen.  We’re living behind lenses.  Slow down to check out car accidents and youtube horrific events and then forward them to our friends.  We need to record things and when it comes to violence or horror we need to see it.  At the same time there’s a limit.  There’s a point at which I have to believe people would spring into action during a crisis, or at least they would be so enthralled by the horror that they would be forced to live in it and not just watch it behind a camera.  That’s where this movie went too far.  I understand that if in every scene that a zombie attacked everyone put down their cameras the movie would be really short and wouldn't contain any zombie scenes.  But it still just makes things feel cheap.

I don’t want to end on the negative though.  The movie overall was enjoyable and the beer is fantastic.  I learned a lot from this movie.  When the zombie apocalypse happens (and it is inevitable) I won’t go to a hospital (Day of the Dead (remake), Planet Terror, Diary of the Dead) and I won’t go to Amish country (the Amish arn't fighters).  And most of all I won’t spend the entire time filming the end of days with a cam corder.

The Beer:

Aroma – 10/10

Appearance – 5/5

Taste – 9/10

Palate – 5/5

 Overall – 19/20

Total = 48/50

The Movie:

Production – 4/5

Plot – 4/5

Gore – 3/5

Zombies – 4/5

 Overall – 4/5