Exit Humanity and Ninkasi Total Domination IPA

I was told to stay away from this film at all costs.  I was told it was nothing but an hour and a half of a guy screaming in the woods.  But I also wanted to point out that the person that told me that also thinks that a great classic car is a 1973 Volkswagen Thing and that the newest Taking Back Sunday album is really good…..so I decided not to trust his terrible taste.  I decided to throw down an inexpensive but potentially awesome beer.  I’ve been converted into a Ninkasi believer!  Their beers are just wonderful.  I love the imperial IPA and the Oatmeal Stout.  I love Eugene, OR and everything it stands for.  So without further ado….

Exit Humanity is truly a wonderful film.  It has a similar feel to Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies but much more serious.  It’s a dramatic approach to a zombie genre riddled with cheap laughs and lack luster performances.  This movie is a standout in a genre where bad acting and special effects reincarnate into movie after terrible movie.  This one is different.  The movie follows Edward Young (Mark Gibson) on his journey back from the civil war.  Towards the end of the war the world is gripped by a zombie plague which goes largely unexplained.  Edward Young returns to his farmhouse to find his wife a zombie and his son missing.  He kills his wife and battles insanity as he struggles to find his son.  He eventually locates his son only to find he was too late and he’s already become one of them.  The film then takes a dramatic change where Edward Young searches for reason in a world gone mad while dealing with his tremendous grief.

I quietly opened the beer as to not miss a line of dialog.  This movie isn’t a fast paced action pact thriller.  It’s a dramatic story of loss and redemption that just happens to have zombies.  I respect that.  But I know I’ll probably respect it even more with a beer in my hand.  That’s where Ninkasi comes in.  Total Domination is a pretty confident name.  Must be the best……right?  I pour the beer and it’s a beautiful hazy orange/tan/copper color.  I don’t mind the cloudy.  It might mean extra character!  Sometimes that’s yeast sediment, sometimes there’s even bits of hops there.  I think it’s really interesting to do a clean half pour….taste the beer.  Then swirl the rest of the bottle in and taste again with the yeast.  If you liked the first taste better then you learned your lesson for next time.  This beer has a very thick massive off white head.  I love it.  Carbonation shoots up the sides of the glass to join their bubble friends.  It dissipates a little more quickly than expected but left a nice lacing on the glass.  It’s got all the character I expect from a big pacific northwest IPA.  It’s very citrusy with pineapple and tangerine all over it.  The first taste is quite good.  It’s not overpowering but it’s nice.  It’s sticky hoppy with a slick medium carbonated mouthfeel.  It tastes very citrusy but with a bit of pine and a floral hoppiness that really comes through.  But it also has a strong yeastiness that makes the beer almost chewey.  There’s also a biscuit like maltiness that manages to escape from underneath the pile of hops.  It’s good but not amazing.  It’s a bit one dimensional.  And if my IPA is going to be one dimensional I expect it to find that direction and mash the pedal to the floor!  This one doesn’t do that.  It’s really good and I’ll but it again but it pales in comparison to Founders Cascade IPA or the other strong examples of the style.  I’m still a Ninkasi fan though!

We rejoin Edward Young as he crosses the countryside with his son’s ashes.  He fights both zombies and insanity until he runs into trouble in the form of an enemy general and his doctor who have their own plans for the undead problem.  Here a very familiar paradox is presented.  What is the value of a life?  If they evil scientist performs ghoulish experiments on hundreds of people only to find the zombie cure and save the lives of millions….is he still evil?  He was trying to save live….the greater good.  Or is one innocent woman’s life worth more than the lives of all those affected.  I think it’s interesting because this same idea could be shot in the same movie from two points of views and both times you would have a different villain and a different hero.  It’s all about perspective.  Bill Mosley (of Dead Air and The Devil’s Rejects) and Steven McHattie (of Pontypool, the movie that Dead Air ripped off) both give fabulous performances.  The movie has very convincing makeup at times and the editing does a great deal for making the zombies realistic and scary.

If you’re a real zombie movie fan then you need to watch this movie.  It’s a fresh idea where there are so few no a days.  The acting is far superior to many box office busters yet this film lives in the bowls of horror movie hell.  The movie was great and to Chris….you have the worst taste!

The Beer:

Aroma – 10/12

Appearance – 2/3

Taste – 18/20

Palate – 3/5 

Overall – 8/10

Total = 41/50

The Movie:

Production – 4/5

Plot – 3.5/5

Gore – 3/5

Zombies – 4/5

Overall – 3.5/5

Abe Lincoln vs. Zombies and New Belgium's Belgio IPA

So it’s been a good week for me and zombie movies.  Yes my friends I’m back and more motivated than ever.  I’ve seen glory and the promise of a bright future.  It’s called Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies!!!!  How could one movie meld history (sort of),  humor, horror, and romance all in one movie?  I’ll tell you how….Abe F*ing Lincoln that’s how!  And I paired this movie with a New Belgium beer that my wife surprised me with the other day, Belgo IPA.  It’s supposed to be a perfect blend of Belgian Trippel and American IPA.  You had me at Belgian…….you had me at Belgian.

The movie starts off big with a young Abe Lincoln rushing into his parents cabin after hearing a gunshot.  He found his father sitting in a chair with a self inflicted and fatal gunshot wound.  His mother had turned and was tied up to the wall.  Abe does what needs to be done and beheads his own mother.  Talk about convictions.  Even as a young man they paint the picture of a man with strong character and resolve.  Fast forward to the middle of the American Civil War.  Abe gets a report of a failed covert union attack.  The sole survivor was a Major who was undoubtedly turning into a zombie.  Lincoln decides he will lead a team of twelve men to the sight of the attack to find out what happened.

As Abe formulates his plan of attack I formulate my own plan.  It includes opening the bottle, carefully pouring into my Sam Adams glass and repeating as needed over the next one hour thirty eight minutes.  The beer pours a bright gold with dark hues where the glass widens.  The two and a half finger head foams up in a lively belian fashion.  The aroma is intense and assertive.  Classic American IPA.  Citrus and fruit like a tangerine and orange peel being smashed in your face.  But it doesn’t end there.  No there’s a small child mashing banana in your hair and sprinkling ground cloves into the yellow mushy mess.  Just when you think it’s over and old lady who reeks of flowers comes in and smashes you about the head and face with a warm and toasty loaf of French baguette.  And you’ve only smelled it.  The taste is more intense.  So imagine the same thing but instead of a little scary (but sort of funny) it’s now the most horrifying experience of your life.  It hitting a fruit truck going 110 mph the wrong way on the highway.  After which time your dead body is beaten by a roving gang of flower smelling old lady armed with more French bread than you’ve ever seen.  Only you’re dead because it’s that awesome.  It’s 7% abv 60 IBU bliss.

New Belgium does something very interesting with this beer.  Instead of using a fair amount of a less colorful (less roasted malt) they used a small amount of a much more intense malt.  They achieve virtually the same color but instead of a soft bready sweetness give the beer a more robust and slightly more stringent bite.  It really helps to balance all those hops.  I also appreciate the hop choice on this beer; Simcoe, Cascade, Armarillo, and Centennial.  It’s very American and very Pacific Northwest…..which I guess is synonymous with American as most of our hops are grown here.  Below I’ve taken the flavor wheel from the New Belgium website.  It’s a great tool to capture the many complexities of beer.  Part of me appreciates the simplicity of Flying Dog’s 2 bar, hoppy matly meter.  But the other part of me dares for a more descriptive measure.  Those with a particular craving or especially refined palates will appreciate the flavor wheel.

I’m not going to give away the whole movie but I was comment on some of the hilarious references and interesting parts of this film.  There is a young man from New York whose parents are killed and he fights alongside Abe.  Teddy, none other than Theodore Roosevelt, is not given a gun or sword.  But Abe instead hands him a big stick and tells him to walk softly……awesome!  General Stonewall Jackson appears as the non compliant turned hero confederate general.  And the generally unlikable Thomas Wilkinson is perfect for the part of Tom Wilkes Booth.  There are several other references which escape me at the moment.  I am pretty sure that this is one of those movies where the more times you watch it the more you get out of it.

Several things really surprised me about this movie.  First was the high quality of the CGI.  Normally I really poo poo digital gore but in this film they really make it work.  No there’s not as much close up gut munching but the beheadings look pretty real for a straight to DVD movie.  I’m constantly amazed at what technology can do.  Big movies get bigger and smaller movies get bigger too!  The film quality itself is amazing.  It’s got this professional grey-ish feel that a lot of low budget films just can’t capture.  Aside from the horrible and obviously fake (I really hope) mustaches the props and the everything was first rate!  Especially the opening battle scene!  Cannons boomed and earth exploded.  It was WAY better than I expected.  Also to note is that all the sets were awesome!  Seriously!  The filmed one part at a real fort and then old buildings and even a white house look alike.  I’m amazed at the quality of this movie and I will be purchasing it.

Here's one more picture for good measure!

The Beer:

Aroma – 10/12

Appearance – 3/3

Taste – 18/20

Palate – 4/5 

   Overall – 8/10

Total = 43/50

The Movie:

Production – 4/5

Plot – 4/5

Gore – 2/5

 Zombies – 3/5

  Overall – 3.5/5

Night of the Living Dead (1990 Remake) and Flying Dog Double Dog

Tonight i feel like filling in the gaps in my reviews a bit.  I will be watching the Night of the Living Dead remake.  This film came out in 1990 and was directed by Tom Savini.  For those who don't know Tom Savini I'll fill you in on a little of his resume.  His special effects work can be seen on the original Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Creepshow, and the wonderful Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2.  He also has done some extensive acting, mostly cameos, in tons of horror movies.  He's in Planet Terror, From Dusk Till Dawn, and if you look close Machete, Land of the Dead, and the Dawn of the Dead Remake.  What did i decide to pair this movie with?  Flying Dog Double Dog Pale Ale!  This is my post to redemption.  I received a slew of hate mail from the Flying Dog Brewery after i wrote my Diary of the Dead and Gonzo post.  I have received numerous death threats saying if i don't review more Flying Dog beer then i will be hastily dispatched.  Actually none of that's true. 

I wanted to confess that i've been feeling a bit of guilt after my Diary of the Dead/Flying Dog Gonzo post.  Perhaps I never gave Flying Dog a real chance.  I keep passing by the Double Dog Double Pale Ale and wrinkling my nose at it as I search for Avery's Dry Hopped Barleywine.  That's no way to treat a beer, with neglect, contempt, and an unfair stereotype.  So i decided to try and make amends by picking up a bottle with a mix your own six pack at our local specialty beer and wine shop La Bodega.  It sat waiting in the fridge as i pecked around in nervously.  First the Leffe, then the Celebration.  By this point it knows I'm avoiding it.  Finally i can hide no more.  I pop it open and pour it into my 12 oz snifter.  It's a crystal clear light copper/orange color with a one finger white head.  The initial aroma is not the blast in the face i expected.  Definitely a lot of piny, resiny hops but not nearly the American Double IPA experience i was expecting.  Not that this is a bad thing.  But it sure was a sign of things to come.

I swirl to see if i can't unlock more hop goodness.  More of the same!  Maybe a little more grapefruit from the background but by and large the same!  So i dive into my first sip, keeping my nose deep in the glass.  Not bad!  It's got a big bitter backbone but not that barbs on the tongue slap that most IIPAs have.  In fact this beer is extremely well balanced.  There is a nice sweet caramel malt back that splashes my taste buds with the nostalgia of tiramisus gone by.  This beer isn't boozy at all.  And at 11.5% abv that's saying a lot.  Careful fermentation and brewing processes have smoothed this bad boy out.  It's a very drinkable beer for it's strength.  With medium mouthfeel and medium carbonation it goes down very easy....too easy.  Would i but this again?  Maybe?  Was it worth the $1.50 for the bottle?  Hell yea it was.  Another page in my beer adventure book printed.

I forgot how good this movie was.  I know it’s in bad taste to say this, but I think I like the remake better than the original.  The quality was much better than I remembered from my parents 27 inch tv as a kid.  The movie followed closely enough to the original to please the lovers of the classic but also threw in enough new twists to surprise people.  The cemetery scene comes as close as any Romero Movie gets to explaining the outbreak.  A man stumbles up to Barbara and keeps saying he’s sorry.  So maybe he did it?  That’s not bad right?  I like how subtle it was and it still left the questions of legitimacy and didn’t give away any specifics.  Unlike the 3-D remake which I would like to poop on.

The first scene at the farm house has got some nice new additions.  Barbara is still terrified and hysterical for the first part.  But unlike the original movie she snaps out of it.  All of the sudden she’s bashing Hershel the farmer zombie to undeath with a fire poker.  Director Tom Savini would like you to meet the new and improved Barbara now with balls.  She ditches the church sweater and trades her ankle length skirt for a pair of the farmers old trousers.  Now she’s ready to rock.  She’s not just the master of her own destiny she’s also taking charge.  She grabs the rifle and is Anne Oakley.  She nails headshot after headshot without blinking.

The Ben character has also seen a few changes.  He’s not as cool and deliberate as he was in the original.  He’s more affected by the zombies this time showing frustration, fear, and hate as he curses god for bringing this upon them.  Ben has more flaws than the original but at the same time he’s also more powerful of a leader and an overall stronger character.  But there is no Ben without Cooper.

I’ve tried to find his side.  I’ve watched this movie and searched my heart for some sort of impartiality.  But I can’t rid myself of the bias.  You’re already on Ben’s side after he helped Barbara and took charge trying to figure things out.  It’s hard to change sides at that point.  Cooper enters abruptly as Ben and Barbara are trying to board up the windows.  First impressions aren’t great as he lies right off the bat saying that they couldn’t tell if it was zombies or people upstairs.  But good old Tommy fesses up that they were just scared.  It’s official, Cooper is an asshole.  From there things get worse Cooper won’t help secure the upstairs and claims the basement as his.  When Ben needs to get into the Basement to get doors (that Cooper isn’t using anyway mind you) Cooper won’t let him in.  The sides are drawn as distinctly as they are in the American political system.  The thing that frustrates me most about Cooper isn’t his obtuse nature, or the way he refuses to contribute to the efforts of the group.  It’s his language.  Who calls people lame brains?  That’s just poor.

The zombies are well done in this film.  The zombie with the broken back on the lawn and the autopsy zombie are two great ones.  The gore is graphic but not over the top.  My best example being the girl with the teddy bear that Barbara shoots in the head.  When the girl gets shot, instead of her head exploding it just sort of pours out the back.  Much classier.

The Beer:

Aroma – 7/10

Appearance – 4/5

Taste – 7/10

Palate – 4/5

   Overall – 16/20

Total = 38/50

The Movie:

Production – 4/5

Plot – 5/5

Gore – 4/5

Zombies – 4/5

  Overall – 4/5

Days of Darkness and Brewdog Hardcore IPA

Today’s movie is Days of Darkness and the beer is Brewdog Hadcore IPA.  I had never heard of Brewdog until I saw the bottle with the funky packaging at the shop.  After some extensive googling I got filled in with the back story.  These two guys in Scotland (home of the wee heavy) were tired of the beer scene so they decided to take out huge loans and start their own.  It’s an inspiring story about changing the industry you both love and despise.  I don’t know the story behind Days of Darkness but I’m willing to bet it’s very similar.  A bunch of people were perhaps tired of seeing 3 and 4 sequels of Resident Evil coming out and decided to make an honest gritty zombie movie of their own….maybe….i have no idea but it would make sense.

It's gotta be the hops.  I see an Pale Ale, IPA, or IIPA and my head starts spinning.  And this beer is packed full of them.  I start the beer before i start the movie and this much is sure:  the hops are there to hurt you.  This beer is the closest I've ever seen to getting the real hop flavor into the beer.  That's not to say that this beer is the hoppiest.   No, what i mean is this beer taste like what the hops smell and taste like as your brewing.  For those who haven't figured it out I'm a homebrewer and a hop head.  First sniff of this beer is STRONG.  It pours a cloudy copper color and sits in the glass with a thick dominating presence.  This beer is way grassy and piny with just a hint of citrus.  Not like the other IPA's I'm used to.  It's got a lot of Simco hops in it that's for sure.  Simco have a cat pee like aroma.  Don't knock it, it's actually pretty good.  But that's not all.  Sip away to find that this beer was brewed with Marris Otter malt (no wonder it's $10 a bottle).  For those who don't know what Marris Otter is, it's the 2007 New England Patriots if that had won the Superbowl.  It's the richest and maltiest of the malts.  It gives this beer a strong backbone of maltiness that helps to balance it out.  There is a slight toffee sweet malt flavor if you can find it under the hops.  It has moderately low carbonation and grassy green hop finish.

Now to the movie.  This budget film made me physically ill when i watched it on the ferry from Washington to Alaska.  It hits all the highs and lows in this low budget dream.  A couple goes camping and a meteor hits.  They go to drive home and are attacked by zombies.  Out main character hero protects himself with a Swiss army knife (NOT THE BEST ZOMBIE WEAPON).  They are saved by a gay guy (Simon) with a machete  who brings them to the survivor's camp.  The camp is a run down and decommissioned micro wave station.  The camp has the most amazing collection of characters: a movie star, two used cars salesman, a porn star and her goody two shoes daughter, a gay guy, a preacher's son, a woman with "military training", and our lovebirds.  Some of  the acting is forced.  The woman with "military training", whose name escapes me, is trying hard to be the tough woman but at the sacrifice of being believable.  And the porn star is talking about her sexual exploits out of context which really forces it.

The main character Steve, gets bitten right away but lucky for him bites don't cause zombies.  (If i had been in this movie that would have been the end of Steve.  You have to play it safe.)  Steve's girlfriend falls ill and is found to be pregnant.  This is devastating to Steve who had an understanding with his girlfriend that they would wait till they were engaged until they had intercourse.  (I swear i didn't do it with another guy!  I must be infected with zombie meteor dust dissease!)  I wouldn't buy it either.  Steve is forced to stay the night in a room with a zombie until they can be sure that he's not one.  He finds that the zombie's penis falls off.  Yes you read correctly.  The zombie's penis falls off.

As the movie progresses I move onto my third beer of the night (the second part of the Brewdog).  All of these beers are over 9% and I'm feeling pretty good.  Good thing for me because this is the point of the movie where they decide to investigate the part of the zombie that the penis fell off.  They poke and prod where the penis should be but it's a bloody stump.  It's uber gross.  The whole time Steve's girlfriend is continuing to plead her innocence. "Not now honey i'm messing arround with zombie crotch.  You always pick the worst times to have these conversations."  What happens next is amazing.  The preacher's son (Trent) is ripping on the Simon (gay guy) for causing the end of the world.  Simon gets so angry that he cuts his fingers off with a machete.  He's not taking any bullshit.  But for revenge Trent lets the zombies into the compound.

I'll skip a bit and hit the highlights.  They go to re-secure the perimeter.  The camera angles are awesome.  The big black jacked guy wears a skin tight pink shirt that says "hugs not drugs" and beats some ass.  This five minutes is worth the $20 i spent on this DVD brand new from Best Buy and the fight that ensued with my wife.  I guess in retrospect a low budget zombie DVD isn’t an essential item when your low on cash during a cross country trip?  Anyway.....the gore is amazing!  A beheading, a behanding, several zombie splatter stomps.  Not all of our characters make it but it's still good fun.  At this point i can't help but point out that the spot of the roof of the compound where Trent hangs out has the word "Chode" spray painted on it.  Nice.  Back to the plot though.  They take one of the zombies they caught inside and examine it.  There is a large sack where a dick should be.  When they cut it open (friggin gross) they find a small fetus person in the sack.  Holy shit balls.  Now comes the full autopsy where Steve just start pulling all the organs out of the zombie body.  They find a vein that goes thru all the organs and into the head.  When they open the head.......bingo!!! Alien spawn!

There are a couple of deaths and a strange underage pseudo love scene before we hit the big bingo.  The alcohol was what protected these survivors from the zombie plague.  This is why i make sure i drink every night!!  Steve ends up using alcohol to cure his girlfriend, who isn't pregnant.  She just infected with the zombie fetus plague.  A giant, bloody, half formed tentacle zombie shoots out of her vagina.  No big deal!  They drive off to Chad (the actors) ranch where they will be able to grow their own food and brew their own beer!

This movie wasn't bad (despite what my dad says).  The acting is boarderline with its highs and lows and the gore is decent.  But this is not your typical zombie movie.  Aliens is my least favorite explanation for the zombie apocalypse but for some reason it worked.  I was feeling so good from the beer that the end of the movie seemed to fly by.  It's a must see even if it's not a must own.

The Beer:

Aroma – 8/10

Appearance – 4/5

Taste – 8/10

Palate – 4/5

   Overall – 16/20

 Total = 40/50

The Movie:

Production – 3/5

Plot – 4/5

Gore – 4/5

Zombies – 3/5

  Overall – 3.5/5