RAMMBOCK: Berlin Undead and Spaten Optimator

Here’s a benefit of being a zombie that you don’t often hear about.  As a zombie your stumble about the earth barley aware of your surroundings until you find someone to eat.  Then you just go at it ripping and chewing an entire person who is still kicking and screaming.  Conversely, if your me, and you eat a few mouthfuls of what turns out to be “not quite cooked pork” then your bedridden for two days of purging every way your body knows how.  That’s why I was watching a zombie movie at 1040 on a Monday.  But don’t worry my friends I’m okay!  Or more importantly for the validity of this blog….our tradition is safe.  I first intended to watch this movie without the beer and then in a few days (when my consumption is more than crackers and water) I would throw down the belated bubbly beverage.  But due to a kick of my conscience and the fact that a zombie movie isn’t the best medicine when your body is ready to vomit at the drop of a hat, I decided to delay the rest of the movie till the end of the week.  That brings us to tonight.  My stomach feels like a tank and I’m ready to go!  The movie: RAMMBOCK (Berlin Undead).  The beer: Spaten Optimator (a bock!).

The cover looks great and unlike the old saying “You can’t judge a book by its cover” I find that you can…and often are right.  When I saw the cover of Living a Zombie dream or I, Zombie I knew what it was.  The cover told everyone out there that this was the biggest steaming pile of dung the world had ever seen.  No you say?  Look further Shadow: Dead Riot….terrible.  C.H.U.D., Night of the Creeps, Beaver Lake Zombies, ZOMBIE ABOMINATION!!!!  Let’s all get off our high horse and admit that sometimes it’s okay to judge.  This movie looks cool.  And it’s German….so Spaten seemed like the obvious choice.  Plus it’s nearing Oktoberfest so it seems only more fitting.  This is one of the few lagers that I’ll make acceptations for.  Normally I go with ale, but sometimes a nice dense malty lager fits the bill, especially when it’s getting cold.  This isn’t the BEST dopplebock but it is probably the most readily available high quality version out there.  I haven’t had Optimator in just over two years.  This all because the wife and I dressed up in the Oktoberfest appropriate beer wench and lederhosen costumes and consumed HUGE amounts of said beer over a two day period.  But I digress…the movie!

Film opens with our oafish lead.  He’s awkward and going bald in a sad strange way.  He’s frumpy and boring but at the same time a little annoying.  In the course of the first five minutes of this film I already hate him so much for no real reason.  I’m able to gather that this spineless love struck sap is returning the keys to his now ex girlfriend.  He was supposed to just mail them but he’s set on winning back the love of his live through whining….awesome.  He goes into the apartment only to find she’s not there.  Instead there are two maintenance men inside.  One of which turns into a….you guessed it….ZOMBIE.  Things in this movie are exactly how I would imagine they would be.  It’s grey and real.  The lead and his surviving maintenance guy sidekick handle the zombies how people probably would.  They make their own weapons…..fail…..they just sit and wait……fail…….and they run……semi-fail.  This movie isn’t overly original but it’s also not an exaggerated and unrealistic piece of garbage.  I would prefer this than another dozen Resident Evil films.

The beer.  While I’m not a huge fan of most lagers (I know you know by now) I still have a huge amount of respect for the history and culture behind each glass of that tall foaming lager bier.  Spaten brewery has roots dating back all the way to 1397!  When we talk about anything prior to 17XX my head starts to explode.  It’s just hard to think about life that long ago, but at least it had beer.  By 1867 Spaten (the German word for spade) becomes the largest brewery in Munich.  In 1893 Spaten was producing almost 14 million gallons of beer a year.  That’s an enormous amount of beer especially “pre refridgeration”.  Even more staggering is their 1996 peak of  29 million gallons.  That’s a lot of beer!

Judging by the official American website Spaten exports 4 beers to the US a Pilsner, Dunkle (weizen I assume), Oktoberfest (seasonal), and Optimator (doppelbock).  Today I’ve paired the movie with what I believe is there most widely sold and most interesting brew.  It’s 7.6% abv but feels much MUCH higher.  It pours a deep mahogany brown with reddish hues when held to the light.  There’s a small light tan head that leaves some lacing.  The aroma is malt forward with loads of molasses and a slight spiced rum aroma.  It’s pleasantly sweet aroma has the threat of a hot high alcohol kick.  The taste is similar.  There’s this rich malty sweetness mixed with a big alcohol bump and the astringency of the grain husks and dark specialty malts.   The sweet liquor makes you suck in when you finish.  Almost like a scotch.  It’s a tough beer and not very drinkable.  It’s as if your body can sense danger and will not allow your body to consume more than 2 or 3 of these.  I’ve heard it’s possible that true Germans are born without this ability and can continue drinking these until they are fall down drunk.  That fact is still unverified.

This movie does have a twist that I found interesting but I’m not sure if I like it.  The zombies are affected by flashing lights.  Their retinas are supposedly very sensitive and flashes of light are extremely painful for them.  So something like a camera becomes a weapon.  The makeup of the white eyes helps to reinforce this possibility.  I’m not so sure I buy it…but it was still pretty cool.  Overall our characters were resourceful and inventive even if a bit boring or unlikable.  Part of this is not the fault of the actors, and it’s not that the writing is bad.  It’s that there’s not enough of it.  The movie is just over an hour long.  Not a lot of time.  Certainly not enough to see the characters grow.  Another 20 mins would have made this movie 100 times better.  Maybe even a classic.  Just when you start to respect the lead and think he’s turning into a sort of anti-hero…the movie ends.  Just when the sidekick gets a girl…it ends.  You never see things really come together.

I really liked the special effects but I’m not sure that they were professional quality.  Some of the appeal of the makeup comes from the fact that the director used the setting and the action to take the spot of close up gore shots.  A view from an upstairs apartment window replaced the close up in your face shot of other big dollar productions.  In a way it helped make it feel as if you were at that window.  There was also a lot of cutaways.  I didn’t realize how many until I reflected on the action later.  This movie does a great job of giving the unsettling feeling of gore without pushing in right in your face.  It’s almost a higher level of cinema.

Like the beer, RAMMBOCK is dark and a bit astringent leaving the consumer intrigued but in the end a little disappointed.  Sure it’s not bud light or Resident Evil for that matter but it still doesn’t hold a candle to Ayinger Celebrator or The Horde.  In honor of Oktoberfest we deem thee “da German xombie movie and das beer”.

The Beer:

Aroma – 9/12

Appearance – 2/3

Taste – 16/20

Palate – 3/5 

   Overall – 7/10

Total = 37/50

The Movie:

Production – 4/5

Plot – 3/5

Gore –3/5

 Zombies – 4/5

  Overall – 3.5/5

The Signal and Boulder Beer Co's Mojo Risin' DIPA

I found the time to thumb through my movie collection to audit what I had and what I needed.  In the process I realized it’s been quite a while since I last watched the movie The Signal.  How could this be?  It must have been one of those movies I put off reviewing until a time when I had exhausted all other quality films.  I’ve been watching a slew of okay but largely unoriginal movies and thought I would spice things up for all of you.  If you haven’t seen this movie then stop right now.  Don’t read ahead!  Drop all plans for the evening and hunt down a copy (good luck).  While you’re at it find some Mojo Risin’ Double IPA.  Park your ass on the couch as this will be a night you will not soon forget.

 I’ll warn you that this movie starts fast.  This isn’t my first go at it and I know better than to try and do any other tasks while this movie is on.  So the popcorn is in the bowl and the beer is in the glass.  I’ve got my feet up and the movie ready to be started.  Everything is right in the world.  All except I didn’t mention one….little….detail.  This isn’t a zombie movie.  Technically.  But it’s pretty darn close and it’s amazing.  Just watch it.  So we begin.

This film comes at you like a raging bull hopped up on coke and caffeine.  The opening scene drops you at some cabin in the middle of the forest where a creepy nerdy guy is torturing and killing women.  It’s really B-rate and grainy.  There’s no plot just women trying to cut the barbed wire off of themselves so they can try to escape.  A few minutes into it though it cuts out and turns into this strange blurry colorful picture that you might get in your media player.  That’s “the signal”.  The whole thing was playing on some guys TV and not the movie itself.  But don’t be lulled into a sense of security because it’s about to come back around real soon and just as bad.

The guy who owns the TV (Ben) is in bed with a married woman (Mya).  Despite his pleas for her to stay and just leave her husband (Lewis) she goes back to him.  She narrowly escapes one of the “crazies” and gets back to her apartment.  There Lewis confronts her and displays signs of being aware of her mischief.  But before she can jump in the shower and get settled down Lewis has become infected and goes Babe Ruth on his buddy’s skull.  Shit spirals really quickly.  In the hall people are stabbing and mauling each other.  Mya eventually escapes with one of her husband’s friends.  He eventually turns crazy…or maybe not.  The director does a great job of casting a certain degree of doubt into his mental state.  That made the whole thing even more frightening.  When a crazy person in mauling an innocent man or a man stabs an attacker in self defense it’s hard to tell the difference.  And at a certain point paranoia takes over and the line blurs even further.  I’m going to seep forward a bit.  Car crash, Rods knocked out, Mya is walking to the train terminal.

If I don’t stop now to talk about the beer it won’t be till the very end that I remember to mention it.  I just get so excited about this movie.  So I managed to pick up this normal $8 six pack for $10 a case!!!!!  Basically I got 24 for the price of 6.  Gotta love the military exchange.  And I do love me some DIPA.  It’s a light medium amber with a decent off white head.  The aroma is beautiful but not overwhelming (as if there were such a thing).  There’s lots of pine and citrus and it’s very sticky and sweet.  There’s the presence of malt but none of the lemon or grassy aroma that would be common of the newer breed of American IPA.  Boulder Beer Co, the oldest microbrewery in Colorado, says the beer is double dry hopped with tons of Amarillo hops.  Thus the “outrageously intense” grapefruit like aroma and flavor.  The first sip is wonderful.  The beer is moderately carbonated.  Just a bit lower than I like but perfectly suitable for the style.  I understand that what I like doesn’t always mean what’s the best for that beer in that style.  So I will forgive what I feel is slightly low carbonation.  The flavor is great.  Exactly what I want in a double IPA.  This one focuses on the flavor and aroma hops and doesn’t kill your tongue with 100+ IBUs like some beers (STONE).  There’s tons of the same stuff you smelled. Mostly grapefruit.  There’s a healthy malty base with this beer.  It’s just slightly sweet.  It actually is VERY drinkable for a 10% abv IIPA.  That’s saying a lot about the crafting of this special pint.  Is this the unique monster that Smuttynose’s Big A IIPA or Stone’s Ruination are….no.  But is this a very tasty in incredibly drinkable IIPA that should be stocked in everyone’s fridge for movie night…undoubtedly YES!

Back to the carnage!

Something that I should have mentioned earlier is that the film is broken up into different transmissions.  Each one was directed by a different person.  None of the directors had contact with each other.  The three transmissions were in different genres; 1. Horror 2. Dark Comedy 3. Science Fiction.  This was something I didn’t know the first time I watched the film and it made the second viewing even more impressive.  That’s why the first transmission was so violent in a heart racing, arm of the chair gripping kind of way.  The second part of the movie (where I pick up here) is very different.  Yes it’s still violent and bloody in a very unsettling way….but it’s also hilarious.  My wife was using the computer and I had my headphones on when I was watching it.  So it was awesome to see her face as I laughed out loud at scenes that she found repulsive.  The whole second transmission takes place in a house where a very 50’s Leave it to Beaver type husband and wife are having a New Year’s Eve party.  Well he’s dead.  Wife killed him when he went crazy.  But the party goes on anyway.  The way that the director blends the mundane and the extreme are beautiful.  Trying to make small talk while caked in blood and surrounded by dead bodies is a pretty funny thing.

I don’t want to go on forever but I do want to capture a few of the major victories of this film.  I don’t know what kind of budget they had but this movie is theater quality big block buster stuff.  The severed head scenes are great and when the guy drills into Lewis’s arm I almost threw up.  But it wasn’t just the special effects that made this movie great.  It was the originality and fearlessness.  It was having a person on fire running by and nobody even looks up.  Then a guy chases people with a chainsaw only feet from our main characters and they barley look up.  It was funny and gory and scary.  I was blown away with the acting.  Each character was believable and likable (maybe accept Lewis) and each was real.  Each person was unique.  This movie left me with an unsettling feeling yet I immediately wanted to watch it again.  I shamelessly give this movie the 5 dead hand rating despite its lack of technical zombies.  Screw anybody who disagrees.

The Beer:

Aroma – 10/12

Appearance – 2/3

Taste – 18/20

Palate – 4/5 

   Overall – 9/10

Total = 43/50

The Movie:

Production – 5/5

Plot – 5/5

Gore – 5/5

 Zombies – 5/5 (this movie is so fucking great i'm bumping this to a 5)

  Overall – 5/5

I WROTE A BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello faithfull readers and fans.  I know your all just beside yourself with excitement and here goes.  I have finished and published (on Kindle only) my first zombie book, The Undead Hordes!

The book follows the residents of a downtown apartment in Providence as the zombie plauge hits and slowly takes over.  A nearby Air Force base tries to become a refugee camp for survivors but the zombies are nothing compaired to how terrifying human nature can be when left unchecked.  This book isn't for the faint of heart.  It's dreary and gray with a realism that most zombie books and film lack.  It's raw and honest with massive ammounts of gore that will surely send the squeemish to bed terrified.

BUY IT HERE!



I fully intend to continue with this blog.  I'll always have time for zombie movies and beer.  Thanks to the thousands of people that have visited this site and thank you to those that will buy my book!

Abe Lincoln vs. Zombies and New Belgium's Belgio IPA

So it’s been a good week for me and zombie movies.  Yes my friends I’m back and more motivated than ever.  I’ve seen glory and the promise of a bright future.  It’s called Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies!!!!  How could one movie meld history (sort of),  humor, horror, and romance all in one movie?  I’ll tell you how….Abe F*ing Lincoln that’s how!  And I paired this movie with a New Belgium beer that my wife surprised me with the other day, Belgo IPA.  It’s supposed to be a perfect blend of Belgian Trippel and American IPA.  You had me at Belgian…….you had me at Belgian.

The movie starts off big with a young Abe Lincoln rushing into his parents cabin after hearing a gunshot.  He found his father sitting in a chair with a self inflicted and fatal gunshot wound.  His mother had turned and was tied up to the wall.  Abe does what needs to be done and beheads his own mother.  Talk about convictions.  Even as a young man they paint the picture of a man with strong character and resolve.  Fast forward to the middle of the American Civil War.  Abe gets a report of a failed covert union attack.  The sole survivor was a Major who was undoubtedly turning into a zombie.  Lincoln decides he will lead a team of twelve men to the sight of the attack to find out what happened.

As Abe formulates his plan of attack I formulate my own plan.  It includes opening the bottle, carefully pouring into my Sam Adams glass and repeating as needed over the next one hour thirty eight minutes.  The beer pours a bright gold with dark hues where the glass widens.  The two and a half finger head foams up in a lively belian fashion.  The aroma is intense and assertive.  Classic American IPA.  Citrus and fruit like a tangerine and orange peel being smashed in your face.  But it doesn’t end there.  No there’s a small child mashing banana in your hair and sprinkling ground cloves into the yellow mushy mess.  Just when you think it’s over and old lady who reeks of flowers comes in and smashes you about the head and face with a warm and toasty loaf of French baguette.  And you’ve only smelled it.  The taste is more intense.  So imagine the same thing but instead of a little scary (but sort of funny) it’s now the most horrifying experience of your life.  It hitting a fruit truck going 110 mph the wrong way on the highway.  After which time your dead body is beaten by a roving gang of flower smelling old lady armed with more French bread than you’ve ever seen.  Only you’re dead because it’s that awesome.  It’s 7% abv 60 IBU bliss.

New Belgium does something very interesting with this beer.  Instead of using a fair amount of a less colorful (less roasted malt) they used a small amount of a much more intense malt.  They achieve virtually the same color but instead of a soft bready sweetness give the beer a more robust and slightly more stringent bite.  It really helps to balance all those hops.  I also appreciate the hop choice on this beer; Simcoe, Cascade, Armarillo, and Centennial.  It’s very American and very Pacific Northwest…..which I guess is synonymous with American as most of our hops are grown here.  Below I’ve taken the flavor wheel from the New Belgium website.  It’s a great tool to capture the many complexities of beer.  Part of me appreciates the simplicity of Flying Dog’s 2 bar, hoppy matly meter.  But the other part of me dares for a more descriptive measure.  Those with a particular craving or especially refined palates will appreciate the flavor wheel.

I’m not going to give away the whole movie but I was comment on some of the hilarious references and interesting parts of this film.  There is a young man from New York whose parents are killed and he fights alongside Abe.  Teddy, none other than Theodore Roosevelt, is not given a gun or sword.  But Abe instead hands him a big stick and tells him to walk softly……awesome!  General Stonewall Jackson appears as the non compliant turned hero confederate general.  And the generally unlikable Thomas Wilkinson is perfect for the part of Tom Wilkes Booth.  There are several other references which escape me at the moment.  I am pretty sure that this is one of those movies where the more times you watch it the more you get out of it.

Several things really surprised me about this movie.  First was the high quality of the CGI.  Normally I really poo poo digital gore but in this film they really make it work.  No there’s not as much close up gut munching but the beheadings look pretty real for a straight to DVD movie.  I’m constantly amazed at what technology can do.  Big movies get bigger and smaller movies get bigger too!  The film quality itself is amazing.  It’s got this professional grey-ish feel that a lot of low budget films just can’t capture.  Aside from the horrible and obviously fake (I really hope) mustaches the props and the everything was first rate!  Especially the opening battle scene!  Cannons boomed and earth exploded.  It was WAY better than I expected.  Also to note is that all the sets were awesome!  Seriously!  The filmed one part at a real fort and then old buildings and even a white house look alike.  I’m amazed at the quality of this movie and I will be purchasing it.

Here's one more picture for good measure!

The Beer:

Aroma – 10/12

Appearance – 3/3

Taste – 18/20

Palate – 4/5 

   Overall – 8/10

Total = 43/50

The Movie:

Production – 4/5

Plot – 4/5

Gore – 2/5

 Zombies – 3/5

  Overall – 3.5/5

The 50,000 hit mark!

I just wanted to send a big "thank you" out to all my loyal readers (and those who were redirected here by accident) for helping Zombiebrew hit the big 50,000 page view mark.  When i started this blog i was getting less than 10 hits a day.  Now depending on the frequency of my posts i get anywhere from 150-500 a day.  That's a lot of people who are passionate about beer and zombie movies.  Thanks again and i will continue on until there are no more zombie movies to watch and no more beer to drink.  I think we'll be safe for a long while.

Versus and Pikop Andropov's Rushin'

This movie was one of those ones that calls to you.  I knew the basics, there were zombies and there was karate.  That was enough for me to cough up the $7 bucks for this DVD.  What can I say... I’m only a man......a weak man with a zombie fetish.  Actually don't like the word fetish.  I associate fetish with something negative and freakish but if that's what I’ve got........then it's not......it's awesome.  I will say I was a little bit nervous about a zombie karate movie.  I was fifty fifty on such movies (Tokyo Zombie = terrible, Ninjas vs. Zombies = awesome).  I decided to pair this movie with the incredibly UN-karate beer, Pikop Andropov's Rushin' Imperial Stout.  The beer is the result of my wife’s insatiable craving for thick, full bodied dark beers.  Thanks wife!

The movie starts out with some awesome samurai action!  I didn’t realize I would be in for a full hour and a half of Tarantino type gore and splatter.  Then the movie shifts to two escaped prisoners running through the woods.  One guy used to be chained to another but all that remains is his severed hand…..cool.  They get to this clearing where they’re met by a couple cars full of crazy….almost silly…Japanese mobsters?  The one prisoner gets angry at the mistreatment of a woman who the mobsters have kidnapped and brought there (it will all come together don’t worry).  Our prisoner hero rescues the girl and runs into the forest.  In the process prisoner #2 gets killed, but he comes back as a zombie!!!!  The mobsters are more intrigued than scared or concerned.  Because that makes sense.  They are in the Forest of Resurrection!

The mobsters take chase with the orders to keep them alive.  It’s only once they’re deep in the forest that they realize that all the bodies of the people those mobsters have killed are buried there in the Forest of Resurrection!  This means hundreds of zombies, some with guns, all of them awesome.  This whole middle section of the film mixes zombie horror flic (in the same vein as a Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead films) with full action shootout and gory slapstick comedy.  The main mobster minion eventually tries to kill off his boss and step up as the number one guy in charge.  The guy is a total goofball throughout the movie and at points is just plain exhausting to watch.  Needless to say the little coup did not work

As if things weren’t weird enough we add two new characters to the mix.  These are a couple of cops or correctional officers from the prison that our inmates escaped.  They’re extremely violent and bursting with this silly arrogance.  Lead cop makes the wildest claims like claiming to be trained by the FBI and able to dodge bullets with his reflexes, or being a world class tracker after being trained at Yellowstone National Park in Canada (it’s not actually in Canada).  At one point they run into some zombies and they eat the one guy’s hand.  He’s really annoyed.  Later in a fight he uses the jagged bone that’s sticking out to repeatedly stab a guy he’s fighting.  That’s hard core.

Now that I’ve got you all pumped up about a karate zombie movie let me move on to the beer for tonight.  It took me a little searching to figure out that the beer is made by Hale’s Ales, a famous Pacific Northwest Brewery.  This Russian Imperial Stout clocks in at 8% abv so it’s going to be big but not “knock you on your ass” big.  It pours black and pretty viscous.  There’s a decent finger and a half tan head that gently floats above the shallow sea of black chewy goodness.  The aroma is full of chocolate and dark roasted coffee with hints of smoky malt and caramel.  Lots of sharp roasted grain and a bready yeast round out the aroma.  I swirl and sniff again to make sure I have the full effect….i do.  The first sip is calming.  Despite the action on the screen in front of me, I’m at peace.  No amount of exploding heads or jumping bicycle kicks could break my trance.  I’m in the zone.  It’s full bodied, much more than I would have expected, and full of that same roasted flavor that I just smelled.  The medium carbonation tickles the tongue and allows the flavors to release and spread.  It’s complex with grainy malty backbone highlighted by a slight late hop bitterness sting.  It’s a really wonderful beer and well crafted.  It’s not too overpowering but plenty thick.  You almost have to chew it

This is a wildly entertaining film despite all of its silliness.  The “hero” character reminds me of a quieter more womanizing “El Wray” from Planet Terror.  It’s that “don’t give a shit” macho man that’s done way over the top.  It’s actually really cool.  And the villain is stone cold.  His lazy but focused stare is reminiscent of an Asian “Ice Man”.  The karate in this movie is well done.  Lots of fast packed action that makes you wonder if you’re watching a Jackie Chan movie……okay maybe a Jet Li movie.  They use 50 cal sniper rifles to liquefy people and there’s a fair amount of beheadings.  This movie is a must have for both Samurai movie fans and zombie movie fans.  It’s the chocolate vanilla twist of zombie movies.  Own it….before it owns you!

The Beer:

Aroma – 10/12

Appearance – 2/3

Taste – 17/20

Palate – 4/5 

   Overall – 7/10

Total = 40/50

The Movie:

Production – 4/5

Plot – 4/5

Gore – 5/5

 Zombies – 4/5

  Overall – 4/5