Saturday, May 21, 2011

Night of the Creeps and Paulaner Salvator

It's to the 80's in full force in this gem of a horror film.  This is my first time ever seeing this movie.  I haven't heard a lot about it, and I've done a lot of zombie movie research.  So I'm a little worried about this one.  It looks like it's got decent production and everything but normally when i don't hear about a movie it's because it lacks gore and zombie action.  Something i learned when i bough Night of the Comet.  I'm hoping this isn't another 80's comet, no zombie bore.  I know I've been drinking a lot of IPAs and Porters so in an effort to promote the entire spectrum of beer flavors i decided to branch out.  Paulaner Salvator, a doppelbock is my beer of choice.  It's branching out enough to prove my dedication to the beer world while keeping things malty and rich.
The movie starts out in 1959 with this weird naked alien being chased by two other equally weird aliens with lazers.  I'm curious and slightly concerned at this point.  An "experiment" is stolen and fired out into space.  It ends up landing in, you guessed it, earth.  Not just any earth mind you...1959 earth.  A couple of love birds happen to be in the area and decide to check it out.  This is the same area an escaped patient from a mental hospital has been brutally murdering people with an axe.  Our man hero goes to check things out, leaving his girlfriend to fend for herself.  He finds the space canister.  Something jumps out of it and into his mouth and .  To make matters worse his girlfriend gets chopped up by the axe murderer.  Tough night to be lovers.  End scene.
Things fast forward to the full color world of 1986.  Our main two characters the nerdy guy (looks like a deformed fish) and his handicapped yet witty friend are at pledge night at "American College" when they meat a girl that is so 80's beautiful that they decide to join a fraternity to win her over.  Because FRAT=COOL in the 80's.  Part of the pledge process was to get a cadaver to do pranks with.  Our wacky duo ends up breaking into a cryogenics lab and releasing our zombie friend.  It takes over 30 minutes to really see the first zombie so yea....i need a drink.
I did a little reading and supposedly this beer has been brewed for hundreds of years using the same recipe.  It was drank by the German monks to sustain themselves during periods of fasting.  This beer is a meal.  I can see how that's possible.  It beer comes in a large bottle.  Not a bomber but larger then a pint glass.  Damn English system.  Anyway, it pours a slightly hazy amber to the top of my glass.  It has the faint malty, bready nose with that clean lager character.  I get why i don't buy this beer much.  I hate raisins.  I hate raisins more than any other food in the world.  Raisins rank just under terrorism in the list of things i hate.  Anyway....yea this beer has a big caramel, ripe fruit, and RAISIN flavor.  It's really strong but smooth enough.  There is a hint of noble hops to keep things balanced and interesting.  The mouthfeel is a little thin for a doppelbock.  It has medium carbonation and finishes warm.  Must be that 7.9% abv smacking, a little hotter than i expected in a lager.  This beer isn't what i expected.  It's a love it or leave it beer. gives it a 95 but beer advocate has it at 3.9 out of 5.  The jury is split!  And I'm on the side that thinks this beer kind of sucks.
The big 80s head rush you get from all the corniness really makes this movie special.  With lines like "remind me to kill you sometime" and "sorry dorks" you'll be sure to love this one.  I don't remember much of the 80's beside what bled over to my "salvation army" lower middle class childhood.  I'm not complaining, in fact I'm glad i got get at least some part of it.  Hand me down Conan action figures and 80's VHS movies were all integral parts of my upbringing.  This movie just bleeds teal and hot pink Polo's.  Speaking of which, the all American boys all wear sweaters over collared shirts and part their hair on the side.  The best scene is where the Jock/Tough guy frat president trips a cripple and makes fun of him.  His girlfriend does the old wind up finger at him.  As if that's not 80's corny enough, he has someone standing by holding his Tom Cruise Risky Business sun glasses that he'll slap on at the perfect moment, something I've since though of incorporating at work.
Now for the zombie action.  Space slugs have come down and are transforming people into zombies.  They even resurrect the body of a long dead ax murderer who then continues his killing spree.  But there isn't as much action as i was hoping for.  Zombie here, zombie there, a splattering of space slugs but no real action and that's at an hour in.  It's not until an hour and fifteen minutes into the movie that you get any real action.  A bus full of party boys turns over trying to avoid a zombie dog.  The zombies don't eat people though.  They just sort of walk around till their heads explode and pour space slugs everywhere.  Our thug from the beginning of the movie shows up again as a zombie.  But it's awesome since he decided the best thing to wear to a formal would be a tuxedo on top his football jersey.  Nice.
This movie is bad.  The plot is all over the place with back story being thrown in at random times.  Not in a cool Terintino way either.  It's overacted in a way that could be funny if they had added some gore and action but instead theirs a lot of buildup for a finish that never really comes.  This is technically a zombie movie hoverer i fully understand how this one didn't end up on the list of best ever or any list for that matter.  At least the beer was strong.  The whole thing left me with this disappointed feeling.  The beer could have been better and the movie sure as hell should have been.  Oh well.  Swing and a miss i guess.  Until next time friends.

The Beer:
Aroma – 4/10
Appearance – 3/5
Taste – 4/10
Palate – 3/5 
   Overall – 8/20
Total = 22/50

The Movie:
Production – 3/5
Plot – 2/5
Gore – 3/5
Zombies – 2/5
  Overall – 2.5/5


  1. Now you need to review the remake "Slither"

  2. So i finally figured out how to return comments. I do own slither and will definitely review it. It's on the fringes of the "zombie" movie genre but i'll count it.

  3. I am excited that I found this blog of yours!.. great!