Monday, May 30, 2011

Round 1 Match 1 CANADA (#9) VS JAPAN (#8)

For the first round of my tournament I've pitted Canada VS Japan in the battle of the best zombie movie producer.  Japan is off to a poor start as I find reading subtitles takes away from the movie a bit, especially for an action movie.  One minute I'm reading the lengthy monologue by the main character and....shit!  I missed a neck biting.  Canada speaks English (I haven't seen any Frech/Canadian zombie movies) and that's comfortable for me.  Below is a list of zombie movies for each country.

CANADAJAPAN
PontypoolVersus
FidoTokyo Zombie
House of the DeadStacy
Meat MarketWild Zero

Both have a couple of duds and i haven't yet reviewed any for the blog.  But bet your ass I've seen a bunch of them.  Tokyo Zombie was boring and silly.  Versus was sort of a zombie movie but more a karate movie than anything.  Stacy was original but low budget and just plain bad.  Wild Zero I've never seen so the jury is still out on that one.  But Canada oh Canada.  I didn't realize that Pontypool and Fido were Canadian.  Perhaps I've short changed Canada.  I saw that House of the Dead was Canada (which i really thought was from the US) so i checked on the sequel House of the Dead 2: Dead Aim.  I liked the second one better so it makes sense that it's from......THE US!!!  It still kind of sucked though.

I'm going to give this round to Canada with a healthy shake of the hand.  Pontypool was well made and truly frightening at times.  Sure the premise was kind of out there and there was very limited gore but it still worked.  This movie is a very different and will  be the first movie i review when i get back to my movies.  Fido is a classic that belongs in every zombie movie collection.  It's campy and funny with just a splash of that gore that you really need to pull it all together.  Billy Connolly made a better zombie than he did a hitman (Boondock Saints anyone?).

So that's it.  Canada will move onto round two where they will take on the powerhouse USA.  Japan will go back home with heavy hearts and a renewed sense of urgency.  Write and produce my Asian friends.  You have much work to do!!!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Tournament of the Dead Begins

So I'm on the road and all my worldly possessions (save some clothes and my ipod) are on a ship enroute Seattle, WA.  What does this mean for you my devoted readers?  No zombie/beer reviews for a couple of weeks.  So what is a man to do?  I am going to take on one of the debates that has ravaged the zombie watching community...Which country rules all in zombie movie production?  Below is the bracket I've com up with including the initial ranking for each Zombie movie releasing country.  Now not all countries are involved as i only have 10 slots.  Some countries put forth only a handful of horrible films and therefore are not included.  Other countries have only 1 zombie film yet still get a decent seed?  Well it's my game and there is a method to my madness.  The initial rankings may not indicate the final outcome as I'm going to take into account any comments that people post to try and sway my opinion.  If you think Zombi 2 is the pinnacle of zombie movies, tell me why.  If you think China has a couple of gems that I've overlooked then let me know.  Otherwise.....well it's my game.  Because the US has a bye in round 1 my first post will be JAPAN VS CANADA!!!!!  A brutal fight to the undead!!!!  Tune in next time fore the results.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I, Zombie and Ayinger Ur-Weisse

So I'm going to steam through more terrible movies tonight.  The first of which is I, Zombie.  This Fangoria $2 (actual price) piece of trash is why some people should never do art.  Not everyone was meant to create.  There always has been and always will be a mass of consumers who's greatest contribution to art is supporting it.  These people are necessary to keep the wheels turning.  As long as everyone knows their place things work fine.  But then every once in a while somebody from the crowd thinks they should take a whack at writing and production.  What you end up with is this crappy ninety minute coma like experience.  I've got the beer poured and I think I'm ready for this.  Ready as I'll ever be.
The beer is Ayinger Ur-Weisse!  Another bottle from the world renowned German beer capital, Munich.  Actually it's located 25 kilometers southwest of Munich, close enough.  The brewery is said to be founded in 1878 and has grown famous for its well balanced ales, very uncommon for that area which produces malt driven lagers and wheats.  It's a little higher alcohol than most wheats at 5.8% abv.  It poured a light amber color with a massive foam head, three or four fingers high.  It's very hazy which is expected of a weisse beer.  There massive banana aroma with caramel, apples, and a little clove at the end.  It's fun and light but also full of flavor.  The first sip goes easy down easy.  There's big fruit and caramel apple flavor with that bready smoothness that you would expect from a German wheat.  This is a great  alternative for those beer drinkers who normally prefer big beers, either hoppy or thick and dark.  It's the summer drinking beer for the non pilsner drinker.  At least that's how i drink it.  This is a great social drink as it's low enough alcohol to be able to have a few while still being full of flavor.
I wish i could say the same for the movie!  It's got this identity crisis.  It's doing "The Office" style interviews to begin but after the first one they are spotty and don't really add anything.  The premise is that this grad school student gets bit by a woman (zombie) while gathering moss samples and gets infected.  There is just a TON of issues i have with this movie.  First off he needs to eat people as soon as he's bitten even though he's still a walking talking person.  He eats a guy and then takes a tour of a new apartment with this nice realtor.  The movie is supposed to be a documentary of sorts for his transformation into a zombie.  It's really boring.  The acting is pretty horrid, the film style is flat and uninteresting.  I can't find a lot of things to say about this movie other than, It's better than living a zombie dream.
There were a couple of good training in this movie though.  First off is don't pick up any dead and decomposing women from abandoned buildings in the woods.  That's a good rule of thumb i think we can all live by.  A matter of fact i think i can go my entire life without breaking this vow.
Number two would be if I'm decomposing and the flesh is literally rotting of my body then I'm going to try and not jerk off.  Because in it's better to have an not use then accidentally break it off.  Thank you "I, Zombie" for making me sick to my stomach with something just sad and gross rather than sick and horrific.  It's a first.
 
Movies like this serve only to make you realize how good Gangz of the Dead is.  Most of the scenes are him squirming around on the bathroom floor pretending to suffer from massive stomach pain or chewing on a dead body on his living room floor where the camera is far enough away and at such an angle that you can't see if he's even close to the corpse.  It's all very safe and just plain terrible.  The monologs this guy does just drag on.  "Oh I'm so lonely" "I can't believe my flesh is rotting" "How am i going to cope with being a zombie".  REALLY DUDE!  Shut up and go eat people.  Shamble around a bit and find a group of college kids who are just hanging out near a cemetery.  No he just kind of stays in bed.  They director was perhaps trying to capture the lonely and human nature of the zombie.  This is evident when zombie guy picks up a hooker (despite his decaying face) and instead of doing it he just wants to lay down with her and hold her.  Its really dumb.  This movie was just as painful the second time as it was the first and i wish i had never bought it.  Thanks Fangoria for making one of the worst movies I've ever seen.


The Beer:
Aroma – 7/10
Appearance – 4/5
Taste – 8/10
Palate – 4/5 
   Overall – 17/20
Total = 40/50


The Movie:
Production – 0/5
Plot – 1/5
Gore – 0/5
Zombies – 0/5
  Overall – 0/5

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Night of the Creeps and Paulaner Salvator

It's to the 80's in full force in this gem of a horror film.  This is my first time ever seeing this movie.  I haven't heard a lot about it, and I've done a lot of zombie movie research.  So I'm a little worried about this one.  It looks like it's got decent production and everything but normally when i don't hear about a movie it's because it lacks gore and zombie action.  Something i learned when i bough Night of the Comet.  I'm hoping this isn't another 80's comet, no zombie bore.  I know I've been drinking a lot of IPAs and Porters so in an effort to promote the entire spectrum of beer flavors i decided to branch out.  Paulaner Salvator, a doppelbock is my beer of choice.  It's branching out enough to prove my dedication to the beer world while keeping things malty and rich.
The movie starts out in 1959 with this weird naked alien being chased by two other equally weird aliens with lazers.  I'm curious and slightly concerned at this point.  An "experiment" is stolen and fired out into space.  It ends up landing in, you guessed it, earth.  Not just any earth mind you...1959 earth.  A couple of love birds happen to be in the area and decide to check it out.  This is the same area an escaped patient from a mental hospital has been brutally murdering people with an axe.  Our man hero goes to check things out, leaving his girlfriend to fend for herself.  He finds the space canister.  Something jumps out of it and into his mouth and .  To make matters worse his girlfriend gets chopped up by the axe murderer.  Tough night to be lovers.  End scene.
Things fast forward to the full color world of 1986.  Our main two characters the nerdy guy (looks like a deformed fish) and his handicapped yet witty friend are at pledge night at "American College" when they meat a girl that is so 80's beautiful that they decide to join a fraternity to win her over.  Because FRAT=COOL in the 80's.  Part of the pledge process was to get a cadaver to do pranks with.  Our wacky duo ends up breaking into a cryogenics lab and releasing our zombie friend.  It takes over 30 minutes to really see the first zombie so yea....i need a drink.
I did a little reading and supposedly this beer has been brewed for hundreds of years using the same recipe.  It was drank by the German monks to sustain themselves during periods of fasting.  This beer is a meal.  I can see how that's possible.  It beer comes in a large bottle.  Not a bomber but larger then a pint glass.  Damn English system.  Anyway, it pours a slightly hazy amber to the top of my glass.  It has the faint malty, bready nose with that clean lager character.  I get why i don't buy this beer much.  I hate raisins.  I hate raisins more than any other food in the world.  Raisins rank just under terrorism in the list of things i hate.  Anyway....yea this beer has a big caramel, ripe fruit, and RAISIN flavor.  It's really strong but smooth enough.  There is a hint of noble hops to keep things balanced and interesting.  The mouthfeel is a little thin for a doppelbock.  It has medium carbonation and finishes warm.  Must be that 7.9% abv smacking, a little hotter than i expected in a lager.  This beer isn't what i expected.  It's a love it or leave it beer.  Ratebeer.com gives it a 95 but beer advocate has it at 3.9 out of 5.  The jury is split!  And I'm on the side that thinks this beer kind of sucks.
The big 80s head rush you get from all the corniness really makes this movie special.  With lines like "remind me to kill you sometime" and "sorry dorks" you'll be sure to love this one.  I don't remember much of the 80's beside what bled over to my "salvation army" lower middle class childhood.  I'm not complaining, in fact I'm glad i got get at least some part of it.  Hand me down Conan action figures and 80's VHS movies were all integral parts of my upbringing.  This movie just bleeds teal and hot pink Polo's.  Speaking of which, the all American boys all wear sweaters over collared shirts and part their hair on the side.  The best scene is where the Jock/Tough guy frat president trips a cripple and makes fun of him.  His girlfriend does the old wind up finger at him.  As if that's not 80's corny enough, he has someone standing by holding his Tom Cruise Risky Business sun glasses that he'll slap on at the perfect moment, something I've since though of incorporating at work.
Now for the zombie action.  Space slugs have come down and are transforming people into zombies.  They even resurrect the body of a long dead ax murderer who then continues his killing spree.  But there isn't as much action as i was hoping for.  Zombie here, zombie there, a splattering of space slugs but no real action and that's at an hour in.  It's not until an hour and fifteen minutes into the movie that you get any real action.  A bus full of party boys turns over trying to avoid a zombie dog.  The zombies don't eat people though.  They just sort of walk around till their heads explode and pour space slugs everywhere.  Our thug from the beginning of the movie shows up again as a zombie.  But it's awesome since he decided the best thing to wear to a formal would be a tuxedo on top his football jersey.  Nice.
This movie is bad.  The plot is all over the place with back story being thrown in at random times.  Not in a cool Terintino way either.  It's overacted in a way that could be funny if they had added some gore and action but instead theirs a lot of buildup for a finish that never really comes.  This is technically a zombie movie hoverer i fully understand how this one didn't end up on the list of best ever or any list for that matter.  At least the beer was strong.  The whole thing left me with this disappointed feeling.  The beer could have been better and the movie sure as hell should have been.  Oh well.  Swing and a miss i guess.  Until next time friends.

The Beer:
Aroma – 4/10
Appearance – 3/5
Taste – 4/10
Palate – 3/5 
   Overall – 8/20
Total = 22/50



The Movie:
Production – 3/5
Plot – 2/5
Gore – 3/5
Zombies – 2/5
  Overall – 2.5/5

The Doghouse and Brewdog's Dogma

I read the description and passed by this movie the first time.  It doesn't fit into my cookie cutter zombie movie formula, then i usually have no use for it.  As soon as i found out the zombies in 'Return of the Living Dead' couldn't be killed i hated it, as soon as Bub picked up that gun in 'Day of the Dead' i gave up, and the first time i saw Land of the Dead i was ready to punch kittens.  You need to go by the formula!!!  Right?  But then i watched the trailer for this movie and was pretty impressed.  It looked witty and gory enough.  Maybe i had the wrong idea about this movie?  I decided i would give it one sceptical viewing to see if it was worthy for purchase and immortality in my collection.  The idea is that a group of friends are taking their recently divorced buddy to this village (English movie) where women outnumber the men 4 to 1 to get him back on the horse.  It's going to be some sort of revitalizing man retreat.  I'm sure most men have encountered some sort of similar situation so right away there's a basis for connection with the characters.  I recognize several of the actors from other decent real life movies.  The divorced guy is Tommy from Snatch and his womanizing friend is in the straight to DVD (sensation) Severance.  It plays through with the rhythm of all other mass produced horror.  There's the slow moving build up where you start to connect with the characters while getting hints of the disaster with some strong and obvious foreshadowing.  It's fun at first so you can relate and get a good case of the giggles before the horror begins!!!
In the spirit of breaking away from the normal i went with another of Brewdog's beers.  Not just any of their beers, a complex ale brewed with guarana, kola nut, poppy, and Scottish Heather honey.  I don't normally like beers with fruit, honey, or heavy spices but i guess you can't write off everything that doesn't fit in the narrow window of your preferences.  I break out my lucky snifter to once again serve me in my beer adventures.  The beer is an orangish red color with an off white foamy head that leaves nice lacing.  The aroma is pungent flowers, honey, and a bit of citrus hops.  There's also slight peppery notes that fade with each sniff.  It has a great big mouthfeel with medium high carbonation.  Husky and sweet maltiness fills the beer with a strong base.  This malt is evident from the first sip.  Thers' also some citrus and caramel swirled with a peppery bitterness.  This beer really has an astringent bite underneath the honey and hops.  It's not a particularly drinkable beer.  It feels much hoppier than it's 65 IBUs and much stronger than it's 7.8% abv.  It's not a perfectly balanced beer or a face smacking good beer.  It's a unique and wild experience than you need to try to understand.
There's a lot of testosterone fueled man rants in this movie.  One guy pays their van driver to go by the name Candy instead of her real name Ruth.  It's hard to capture the cockey sexist way that he did it without showing his flashy mannorisms.  For the record I think this guy's AWESOME!!  This movie does a great job showing the obvious behavioral line in the sand between men and women.  It makes the movie more fun.  They all arrive in Moodley only to find there's nobody there....at first.  One by one they discover the "Zombirds", zombie/cannibal women who prey on men.  These are not the zombies I normally like.  They use tools, look more like demons than zombies, and get into cat fights.  That being said i love it!  I can't believe i love it but i do.

The zombies all are characters more than people.  For instance there's a horseback rider, one-eyed witch, dentist, butcher, etc, etc...  It reminds me of Day of the Dead or Land of the Dead, Romero style zombies (except they use weapons).  This movie has it all.  A head being split with an axe, golf balls taking out eyes, severed heads being driven around on remote control cars, and squirt gun flame throwers just to name a few.  This movie takes its humor in a direction i didn't expect.  It justifies sexism and promotes men's freedom.  It's so brash and done in such an obvious fashion that one could claim they show the absurdity of the neanderthal like male, or you could take it for what it claims to be.  A man movie belonging in a similar category as Fight Club.  Take that collar off it's time to fight dirty.

It's best summed up towards the end of the movie where our recently divorced star has his mid life crisis.  He rants about how women come upon their men in their prime only to make them more responsible and more conformed to their wishes until they get bored and throw them away.  This movie is a call to arms for all men who find themselves being controlled or bullied.  This isn't 90 minutes about trials of a military biological weapon  designed to decimate a population in a controlled and isolated area, it's about men everywhere keeping whatever it is that makes them men.

This movie will be hit an miss with the zombie crowd.  Purists will smugly dismiss this a joke, but those with an open mind will watch this and appreciate it for what it is.  Another English volume in the Awesome Library.  The characters are all immediately likable, the production is good, the plot is run and keeps you excited, and the humor keeps things light and interesting.  To boot the acting is actually pretty damn good.  This movie has shown me that a zombie movie can be entertaining and meaningful without fitting into the rigid structure laid out before us by Father George.  Thank you England for showing all us in the states what Zombieland should have been more like.  A movie for adults.


The Beer:
Aroma – 7/10
Appearance – 4/5
Taste – 7/10
Palate – 4/5  
   Overall – 17/20
Total = 39/50



The Movie:
Production – 5/5
Plot – 5/5
Gore – 4/5
Zombies – 4/5
  Overall – 4.5/5


Wednesday, May 18, 2011

28 Days Later and Reel Ales 10^2 Barleywine

I didn't know when it would be appropriate to review a film so controversial in the zombie movie world.  I'll spell it out for anybody stuck in the rut of non stop debate.  The infected are not zombies!  So why oh why am I putting a review a movie without zombies onto a zombie movie blog?  Because the line isn't black and white to me.  And with the slew of comments people have written on my blog (none it's a joke) I'm not too worried about the harsh criticisms.  Is survival in a "28 Days Later" world different from survival in a "Dawn of the Dead" world?  No.  So with a nod to liberals and a quick apology to the purists I'm going on with the film.

The beer is a monster.  Reading the bottle I've learned that this beer is brewed using 10 different types of hops: Horizon, Chinook, Columbus, Willamette, Tradition, Northern Brewer, Santiam, Tettmanger, Cascade and Golding.  Not to mention it clocks in at an impressive 10%abv.  I think I'm drinking this one a little too cold.  This could be a problem.  It pours a cloudy hazelnut brown with no head and no lacing.  The aroma is so mixed up with all that malt and different hops that it takes me a couple of tries to really pinpoint what I'm smelling here.  The hops are intricate and powerful but there's a still a maltiness that pulls through.  It boarders on IIPA with those resiny hops.  The first sip has a deep caramel, and dark roasted malty flavor.  The hop flavor storms the beaches behind waves of malty sweetness.  The first few sips leave no real discernible bitterness.  Of course as it warms the bitterness becomes more and more apparent.  The flavor builds as it warms in my snifter like very few beers I've ever had.  I was surprised at just how awesome this beer is.  It's complex with deep rich maltiness, and layer upon layer of hop flavor.  I would love to try an oaked version of this beer.
Monkeys infected with rage virus get loose because i couple of uniformed yet well intentioned hippies took it upon themselves to fight the man.  I don't care if your a vegetarian or if you volunteer on your off time at the zoo, but breaking and entering is a crime!  One that in your case caused the end of the world.  This movie makes even me hate hippies.
This movie was great for a lot of reasons.  One of the biggest for me is that i didn't know any of the characters.  Yes it's an English movie so there's that, but also Danny Boyle chose actors who were talented but not Angelina Jolie style famous.  For me that made it real.  These could be people you know.  They could be your friends or your neighbors.  The other thing that made this movie terrifying for me was the cinematography and flow of the plot.  The scenes following Jim's awakening better portrayed an end of the world emergency than any film save Children of Men.  You could feel his isolation as he walked the empty London streets.The church scene was pure brilliance.  Where all other movies focused on survival and farm houses this movie took you to the heart.  The place where everyone would go when there was no hope...Church.  Hundreds of dead bodies covered the benches and littered the aisles.  My mind recreated the events that brought them there.  I imagined the infected ripping through that church like wildfire.  But that was already done by the time Jim gets there.  All we get to see is the peaceful silence that surrounds the dead bodies.
As for the flow of the film.  I don't have to get into the science of script writing to tell you that the break from the action after the Jim gets attacked in the Church is perfect.  The dark humor that Mark beings in.  The heartfelt dialog.  It's all there.  I really like Mark.  he's probably my favorite character until Sarina chops his arm off.  Things just get worse and worse for mark from there.  I know I'm skipping around a bit but i assume anybody in this blog and most people with access to current media have seen this movie.  And if you haven't yet i want you to stop reading, punch yourself in the face, rent this movie, watch it, then continue reading.  It will just be better for everyone.
Each of the characters in this movie are rich and well developed.  You understand them and feel for them.  I enjoyed how this movie had the ying and the yang.  The best and the worst of people.  Frank was what you would hope people would turn into during a tragedy.  The soldiers (except that one Sargent) are what people probably would turn into.  I started visiting the website Quietearth.us after i stumbled upon it looking for upcoming zombie movies.  It's a website totally dedicated to end of the world (the movies at least).
This movie also mixes scenes of great happiness with those of shear terror.  When Jim and Sarina find Frank and Hanna there is a small celebration and Frank really lightens the mood with his presence.  Then the tire changing scene is terrifying.  The glow of the infected's faces in the tail lights as they get away is one of the most horrific images of the movie.  The movie is terrifying without the in your face blood and gore like the Saw series.  There in fact isn't a lot of blood and gore in this film at all, not compared to other zombie movies anyway.
I would like to think people would be better.  That four weeks isn't long enough for a person to turn into what the soldiers turned into.  They behaved like animals, and sexual predators.  From the first moments that Jim, Sarina, and Hanna get there you have this unsettling feeling.  You can never let your guard down, you can never get comfortable.  The soldiers are as much a threat as the infected.  I have seen this move at least a dozen times and i still don't understand what the Major said about infection.  "This is what I've seen in the four weeks since infection: people killing people. Which is much what I saw in the four weeks before infection, and the four weeks before that, and before that, as far back as I care to remember- people killing people. Which, to my mind, puts us in a state of normality right now."  Does he really believe that?  Is he supposed to be crazy?  I would understand that he was a man doing what he needs to ensure the survival of his people.  But a lunatic doesn't make sense to me.
When faced with adversity one has but two options.  Overcome said adversity by any means possible or perish beneath it.  Jim becomes an animal.  He kills or causes to be killed all of the soldiers.  He smashes the one guy's head into the brick wall.  Blood sprays everywhere.  Then he calmly inserts his thumbs into the soldiers eyes puncturing his brain.  It's the most graphic scene of the film by far.
This film is a must see.  I remember when it came out it was advertised as "The scariest film ever!"  That's a lofty title but not a misplaced one.  This film is terrifying.  But not necessarily by itself.  After watching the extras and the making of where they discussed hoof in mouth disease I realized how real it was.  The flu ravages our population and kills the elderly.  Look at what swine flu did.  If something a little more severe, something with a quicker onset, and that effects our behavior was to infect a major population we would be unprepared.  That is what makes this movie scary...reality.

The Beer:
Aroma – 8/10
Appearance – 4/5
Taste – 9/10
Palate – 5/5  
   Overall – 17/20
Total = 43/50


The Movie:
Production – 5/5
Plot – 5/5
Gore – 5/5
Zombies – 5/5
  Overall – 5/5

Horror Rises from the Tomb and Flying Dog IPA

There's good zombie movies, bad zombie movies, and then there's the "so bad they're good" zombie movies.  This one teeters on the edge of bad and so bad it's good.  Bad acting and terrible special effects can be funny, or it can be terribly boring.  I'm still not sure which one this is.  This movie was made in Spain in 1973 and then released in the US in 75.  I believe i read somewhere that one of the heroes and the villain are the same actor.  They do look pretty similar now that I'm thinking about it.  I don't know a lot about the 70's.  I was alive (although pretty young) for some of the 80's and I've read and seen a lot about the 60's, but the 70's was a decade that i just never learned about.  Ok so there was disco and coke, but there had to be more to it than that.  So i dug a little further.  Now you're talking!  The birth of punk rock and sleazy drive in style horror!!  I had no idea the 70's were so great.  But that's not all....these boozy, drugged out disco maniacs were having sex like the world was ending.  There wasn't a lot of full on sex scenes in these movies but everyone was naked.  Not just this movie either.  In Zombi you get a taste of it.  Who scuba dives naked?  I'll touch on this more later.
I picked up a mix pack of flying dog in an effort to make further amends.  It appears that i was wrong about flying dog.  But if it weren't for Hunter S. Thompson i would never have realized it.  I picked up his book on sale at some book store in Colorado.  I had heard of him and it seemed like something i would like so i picked it up.  I'm really interested in rebels.  I love punk rock  and all it's rebellious grittiness so i thought it's quite possible i would like Hunter S. Thompson.  In the book it referenced Flying Dog a couple of times so I thought maybe i should give them another go.  I'm glad i did.  I realize after doing the math that i tried my first and only flying dog mix pack 5 years ago when i was 22.  I had just started drinking beer and hadn't yet worked up to the refined palate that i now possess.  So i picked out my most despised beer of 5 years ago... their Snake Dog IPA.  It poured a clear dark gold into my Sam Adams glass.  It had that typical American nose of big citrus hops.  But the first sip surprised me.  It was bitter without being biting and had a nice toasted malt back.  It finished clean and smooth without that puckering bitterness that i look for.  It's absence in this case was appealing.  There was still a big citrus flavor with green resinous hops all over it.  But it didn't bite my tongue the way most of my IPAs do.  Well done Flying Dog....well done.
The movie starts out in medieval France where this bloke is getting hung for being all buddy buddy with Satan.  Not big fans of "freedom of religion" those Francs were.  Before they cut off his head and bury them separately he places a curse on his executioners.  His wife was hung upside down tortured and killed, topless none the less.  Fast forward five hundred years or so and you've got a rich guy that thinks the body is buried in one of his estates.  They have a seance to see if they can't figure out where the body is.  I'm not sure if they were looking for some type of treasure associated with said body or if they are just gore hounds.  The seance goes terribly wrong as is typical of at least one other 70's zombie movie.
They all travel to the rich guys house where they find a buried chest.  It's locked so even though it might be treasure and three other people know about it they decide they should just keep it in the basement.  Well I'll be damned the poor servants tried to open the chest.  They find the head and become possessed.  Two out of the three don't make it out of the basement.  The remaining guy (possessed) does some killing of his own.  Here's where it gets interesting.  Every woman who gets killed gets her shirt ripped off before hand.  In one case it looked like the killer realized there wasn't enough boob in the shot and adjusted her ripped shirt accordingly.  Another thing while I'm at it.  Judging by this movie everyone in Spain in the 70's slept naked, men and women.  Not only that but the first thing a naked sleeping woman does when confronted with a resurrected French devil worshiper is throw off the covers.  The director must have realized he didn't have much of a plot and the actors weren't great so he just stripped them down and got extra boobie shots.  I'm surprised it beat out One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest!
So our Hero is rocking a textured turtle neck tucked into his jeans.  Not exactly fitting by modern standards.  Not a lot of films with Vin Diesel and Jason Statham running around with textured turtle necks on.  The hero's girlfriend (wife maybe? no idea?) gets possessed and becomes part of the "Final Ritual".  It doesn't really explain what the ritual is but it does involve a lot of boobie touching???  Highlights of this movie include a scene where the undead wife rips a mans heart out.  That's about it.  There are a bunch of okay scenes and i learned a lot about the oversexed seventies but nothing stands out as amazing.
There are zombies in this movie.  At first i was worried it would just be possessions.  Those pre-Romero White Zombie type.  But in fact when the possessed people die they become honest to goodness zombies.  So technically it counts.  The only protection from these zombies and the unholy couple is a necklace of Thor's hammers.  Why the Greeks have anything to do with this I have no idea.  But it works.  The naked sleeping Spaniard keeps safe only because captain evil saw the necklace hovering above her bosom.  His wife isn't harmed by the necklace and needs a silver needle through the heart???  Whatever.  Our main characters end up slaying the evil duo but not before our hero hunk takes an ax to the chest.  And he almost made it!!
All in all this wasn't a bad movie.  Only because i assumed it was going to be a terrible movie.  It moved well enough, had decent gore, a unique plot, and the acting wasn't the worst I've ever seen.  Would i recommend it?  Mer?  If you have a lot of time and a couple of beers than give it a shot.  If you want to snuggle with the Mrs. and watch a feel good film, look elsewhere.

The Beer:
Aroma – 7/10
Appearance – 4/5
Taste – 8/10
Palate – 4/5 
   Overall – 14/20
Total = 37/50

The Movie:
Production – 3/5
Plot – 2/5
Gore – 3/5
Zombies – 3/5
  Overall – 3/5