Monday, May 2, 2011

Days of Darkness and Brewdog Hardcore IPA

Today’s movie is Days of Darkness and the beer is Brewdog Hadcore IPA.  I had never heard of Brewdog until I saw the bottle with the funky packaging at the shop.  After some extensive googling I got filled in with the back story.  These two guys in Scotland (home of the wee heavy) were tired of the beer scene so they decided to take out huge loans and start their own.  It’s an inspiring story about changing the industry you both love and despise.  I don’t know the story behind Days of Darkness but I’m willing to bet it’s very similar.  A bunch of people were perhaps tired of seeing 3 and 4 sequels of Resident Evil coming out and decided to make an honest gritty zombie movie of their own….maybe….i have no idea but it would make sense.
It's gotta be the hops.  I see an Pale Ale, IPA, or IIPA and my head starts spinning.  And this beer is packed full of them.  I start the beer before i start the movie and this much is sure:  the hops are there to hurt you.  This beer is the closest I've ever seen to getting the real hop flavor into the beer.  That's not to say that this beer is the hoppiest.   No, what i mean is this beer taste like what the hops smell and taste like as your brewing.  For those who haven't figured it out I'm a homebrewer and a hop head.  First sniff of this beer is STRONG.  It pours a cloudy copper color and sits in the glass with a thick dominating presence.  This beer is way grassy and piny with just a hint of citrus.  Not like the other IPA's I'm used to.  It's got a lot of Simco hops in it that's for sure.  Simco have a cat pee like aroma.  Don't knock it, it's actually pretty good.  But that's not all.  Sip away to find that this beer was brewed with Marris Otter malt (no wonder it's $10 a bottle).  For those who don't know what Marris Otter is, it's the 2007 New England Patriots if that had won the Superbowl.  It's the richest and maltiest of the malts.  It gives this beer a strong backbone of maltiness that helps to balance it out.  There is a slight toffee sweet malt flavor if you can find it under the hops.  It has moderately low carbonation and grassy green hop finish.
Now to the movie.  This budget film made me physically ill when i watched it on the ferry from Washington to Alaska.  It hits all the highs and lows in this low budget dream.  A couple goes camping and a meteor hits.  They go to drive home and are attacked by zombies.  Out main character hero protects himself with a Swiss army knife (NOT THE BEST ZOMBIE WEAPON).  They are saved by a gay guy (Simon) with a machete  who brings them to the survivor's camp.  The camp is a run down and decommissioned micro wave station.  The camp has the most amazing collection of characters: a movie star, two used cars salesman, a porn star and her goody two shoes daughter, a gay guy, a preacher's son, a woman with "military training", and our lovebirds.  Some of  the acting is forced.  The woman with "military training", whose name escapes me, is trying hard to be the tough woman but at the sacrifice of being believable.  And the porn star is talking about her sexual exploits out of context which really forces it.
The main character Steve, gets bitten right away but lucky for him bites don't cause zombies.  (If i had been in this movie that would have been the end of Steve.  You have to play it safe.)  Steve's girlfriend falls ill and is found to be pregnant.  This is devastating to Steve who had an understanding with his girlfriend that they would wait till they were engaged until they had intercourse.  (I swear i didn't do it with another guy!  I must be infected with zombie meteor dust dissease!)  I wouldn't buy it either.  Steve is forced to stay the night in a room with a zombie until they can be sure that he's not one.  He finds that the zombie's penis falls off.  Yes you read correctly.  The zombie's penis falls off.
As the movie progresses I move onto my third beer of the night (the second part of the Brewdog).  All of these beers are over 9% and I'm feeling pretty good.  Good thing for me because this is the point of the movie where they decide to investigate the part of the zombie that the penis fell off.  They poke and prod where the penis should be but it's a bloody stump.  It's uber gross.  The whole time Steve's girlfriend is continuing to plead her innocence. "Not now honey i'm messing arround with zombie crotch.  You always pick the worst times to have these conversations."  What happens next is amazing.  The preacher's son (Trent) is ripping on the Simon (gay guy) for causing the end of the world.  Simon gets so angry that he cuts his fingers off with a machete.  He's not taking any bullshit.  But for revenge Trent lets the zombies into the compound.
I'll skip a bit and hit the highlights.  They go to re-secure the perimeter.  The camera angles are awesome.  The big black jacked guy wears a skin tight pink shirt that says "hugs not drugs" and beats some ass.  This five minutes is worth the $20 i spent on this DVD brand new from Best Buy and the fight that ensued with my wife.  I guess in retrospect a low budget zombie DVD isn’t an essential item when your low on cash during a cross country trip?  Anyway.....the gore is amazing!  A beheading, a behanding, several zombie splatter stomps.  Not all of our characters make it but it's still good fun.  At this point i can't help but point out that the spot of the roof of the compound where Trent hangs out has the word "Chode" spray painted on it.  Nice.  Back to the plot though.  They take one of the zombies they caught inside and examine it.  There is a large sack where a dick should be.  When they cut it open (friggin gross) they find a small fetus person in the sack.  Holy shit balls.  Now comes the full autopsy where Steve just start pulling all the organs out of the zombie body.  They find a vein that goes thru all the organs and into the head.  When they open the!!! Alien spawn!
There are a couple of deaths and a strange underage pseudo love scene before we hit the big bingo.  The alcohol was what protected these survivors from the zombie plague.  This is why i make sure i drink every night!!  Steve ends up using alcohol to cure his girlfriend, who isn't pregnant.  She just infected with the zombie fetus plague.  A giant, bloody, half formed tentacle zombie shoots out of her vagina.  No big deal!  They drive off to Chad (the actors) ranch where they will be able to grow their own food and brew their own beer!
This movie wasn't bad (despite what my dad says).  The acting is boarderline with its highs and lows and the gore is decent.  But this is not your typical zombie movie.  Aliens is my least favorite explanation for the zombie apocalypse but for some reason it worked.  I was feeling so good from the beer that the end of the movie seemed to fly by.  It's a must see even if it's not a must own.

The Beer:
Aroma – 8/10
Appearance – 4/5
Taste – 8/10
Palate – 4/5
   Overall – 16/20
 Total = 40/50

The Movie:
Production – 3/5
Plot – 4/5
Gore – 4/5
Zombies – 3/5
  Overall – 3.5/5


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